The Redeemer
by torrentialrains
Summary: Alice has a vision of Edward falling in love with Bella Swan. The only problem? Bella was captured and forced into the cruel world of sex slavery. Now Edward has to save her, but when he does, what will be left? Can he make her whole again? AU ExB
1. Obedience

_**Disclaimer: All recognizable content belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is only a work of fanfiction, and is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

**POV: **_Bella, Alice_

**Chapter 1: Obedience**

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"_No matter how the wind howls, the mountain will not bow to it."  
__-Chinese Proverb_

**

* * *

****BPOV**

My body betrayed me in every way as it slid against the pole in front of me. I shivered as my bare skin made contact with the metal of it, and I tried my hardest to ignore sounds and looks of approval that were coming from the audience… _my_ audience.

I watched as rich men sat comfortably in the plush red loveseats, their eyes gliding over my figure, appreciatively… approvingly.

I shuddered as I realized I was the source of their approval. My heart fluttered at the disturbing thought. I still wasn't used to this lifestyle. It wasn't something I would have ever chosen for myself. It was something that was forced upon me.

It was this or death. And I liked to think that I was stronger then I gave myself credit for. I guess that's why I chose to continue living even if it meant being a prisoner. I wasn't sure if I could accurately define living anymore – this didn't seem to be much of an existence. And it was growing more difficult each day to recall what my life had been before this mess.

I could hear the rhythm of the music as my body swerved and swayed to it. I was clumsy, and gyrating against a pole was like a recipe for disaster for the uncoordinated. I felt my ankles shake underneath the weight -all 97 pounds- of me. And that's when I fell. It was embarrassing. Humiliating. But more then that, it was dangerous. And not because I could hurt myself, but because it gave _them_ an excuse to hurt me.

Before I could even regain my composure, the music was shut off and I felt a set of unnaturally cold hands on my arms, ripping me off the stage. Someone was dragging me, through the doors, to the backstage. The crowd began to complain loudly, but nobody seemed to sound shocked or concerned. In a matter of seconds, the music was blaring again, no doubt so my replacement could continue where I had left off. I was abruptly thrown to the ground when we reached the small, recognizable room. I flinched as I felt the concrete aggravate the sore muscles of my back.

"Sit."

I recognized that voice. Mikey, one of my captor's bodyguards. I pulled myself from the ground, and did as I was told. At this point, disobeying would have just meant more pain. I didn't think I could hide anymore bruises. I didn't think I had the strength.

"Stay put. He ain't gunna be long."

I nodded as I felt dread and anticipation turn in my stomach unnervingly. I noticed my clothing, or lack thereof, and made an effort to cover my scantily-clad body. Hearing the door open,I braced myself as I watched him enter. Mikey shifted in a way that made him seem timid, tucking himself away in one of the darker corner of the room. It was surprising to see someone who looked so capable of defending themselves cower as he was.

He wore a suit. An onyx black suit with a gold tie and a crisp, crème coloured shirt. I recognized it to be one of his more expensive suits. Great. I had interrupted him during something important. There was a glint in his eye as the corners of his mouth tightened into a scowl. His dark, empty eyes held mine in an effort to intimidate me. It was working. He removed his suit jacket and began rolling up his shirt sleeves.

"Bella. You silly, clumsy little girl," he chuckled callously and slicked back his hair, as he stood in front of me, arms folded across his chest. I bowed my head; the shame of my appearance overwhelming me as I clenched my jaw tightly, my hands betraying my resolve as they too began shaking. I felt my body tense as my trepidation began to mount. He was livid; I could see it in his eyes. The false kindness he normally portrayed was distant, hidden in his anger. After all, there was no need for false pleasantries in my presence. Not anymore.

"I… I'm s-sorry" I managed to stutter. I was forming words, which surprised me, however incoherent they were. His hand connected with my face as he back-handed me with enough force to send me from the chair. I didn't make a sound, not even as I felt my flesh rip open as it slid across the cold concrete. It would only upset him more if he heard me vocalize my pain.

"Did you forget the golden rule, girl? You _will_ address me as sir, and you will _only_ speak when spoken to, scum. Now, I know you're new to this, but you can't have forgotten the rules already. You looked like a fool up there tonight. And when you look like a fool, Bella, _I_ look like a fool. And I can't have that, now can I?"

I looked up at him, literally biting my tongue to keep myself from responding in a less then favourable manor. A very powerful and proverbial part of me wanted to tell him that he didn't deserve my respect, that I wasn't actually sorry, because I knew hadn't done anything wrong. I knew I wasn't the sinner in this situation. Despite my fear, it wasn't in my nature to allow someone to treat me this way without some kind of objection. I didn't want to get myself into more trouble though, but I could feel my temper tightening the knots in my stomach, a deep acidic burn coursing throughout my body. I settled for a simple response however. He needed no more provocation from me tonight.

"No, sir. I apologize, sir," I said obediently, lowering my gaze to stare at the floor. I could feel a blush creep onto my face. I didn't recognize this girl I was made to be. I felt as though I had been moulded from clay, like he had taken the old me, and smashed her into a thousand tiny pieces, and created an entirely new person. I didn't know how find all of those pieces, and put myself together again. The experience was paralyzing my emotions, blurring the lines of logical reasoning and emotional reasoning. Why did I feel humiliated over something that was beyond my control? Why couldn't I neatly tuck away these emotions like I was accustomed to doing?

"Well, I'd like to accept your apology, but you must accept your punishment first. And once you do, without complaint, you will be forgiven and all will be forgotten." He smiled darkly as the words left his mouth.

My stomach did back flips, wondering what kind of pain would be inflicted on me now, wondering how much more of this I could possibly take.

"Stand."

I did as I was told. "Good. You're responding quickly, despite your injuries. You're healing well from your last punishment; I like a girl that is quick to recover." He waved a hand up and down my body, obviously referring to the large, but fading bruises strewn across my pale skin. They weren't easily visible; I had slathered cover up on them to conceal them. But Richard missed nothing.

"Now, Bella. I would like you to first recite my rules; just to be sure you still remember them. You have sixty seconds to remember every rule. For every mistake, I will add thirty minutes of punishment to the hour you already have. For every second over your allotted time, I will add another hour to your punishment. Are we clear?"

Of course we were clear. Crystal clear**. **I could feel the tears beginning to well in my eyes, as my heart thudded wildly. Each beat of my heart was echoing loudly in my ears, creating a rhythm I tried to focus on to distract myself. But I was certain my heart beat was loud enough for Richard and Mikey to hear as well. I was even more certain of this when Richard smiled at me, seemingly amused by something.

My fingers twitched and my knees quivered. I felt like allowing my tears to brim over, my body to convulse in violent quakes of fear. I wanted to fall apart. But that reminded me immediately of Rule Number Seven**.**

So, instead of falling apart, I responded, "Yes, sir. We are clear, sir."

He smirked**, **his eyes surveying my body purposefully. It seemed like he was looking for signs of weakness. I tried to hide it, but the shaking of my hands and the beating of my heart were difficult to contain**.** He sat in the chair I had been in just minutes before, and pulled a cigarette from his pocket, lighting it with a satisfied look on his face. The seriousness of his expression had vanished and was now replaced by a look of satisfaction.

"Mikey, keep the time, please. Bella, you may begin on my count of three. One, two, three…"

"One: Speak when spoken to. Two: Never disobey any command given by a superior. Three: Stay composed at all times. Never falter or do anything foolish. Three: Always refer to your superiors as Sir or Madame. Four: Never reveal anything about the Society or it's workings and make sure to maintain confidentiality at all times. Six: When you are doing what is told, do so with happy compliance. Seven: Never show any sign of weakness or displeasure, including crying, chiding, laughing, shaking, or any other noise that is perceived to be a response to pain…" Confusion muddled my brain as I struggled for control, for breath. I tried desperately to recall the rest of the rules, but there were so many, and my fear was beginning to overtake me.

"Bella, you've stopped. This means your punishment time is now at an hour and a half. I would hurry if I were you. Sixty seconds is almost up." I gulped nervously. I was immediately aware that tonight would be a very**, **very long night.

* * *

I lay on the frigid tiles of the bathroom floor, delighting in the contrast of the chilled tiles with my battered body. Every inch of me ached and burned. I had come into the washroom with the intention of showering after my punishment. But as soon as I had walked through the door, my body gave way and I collapsed to the floor**.**

I wasn't sure I could muster the strength to move, let alone to make it into the shower. I was vaguely aware of the sound of someone else entering the washroom, and turning the water on.

"Oh, Bella. You're a mess." I recognized the soft voice as Matilda's. I was grateful to have someone familiar by my side… someone safe. Matilda was another one of Richard's unwilling working women. Just like me, she was trapped here in this bleak place, with no way out.

Yet, she was possibly one of the kindest people I had encountered in my life. She had been my protector since I had first been brought here. It was my second month with Richard. In retrospect, it felt like years. My life before this seemed distant, far off, surreal. Like nothing had existed before this nightmare.

Matilda had been here for two years. She knew the ins and outs of this place better then anyone else. There were ten others, excluding Matilda and myself. All here for the same reason. No choice in the matter. Some girls were hospitable, and looked out for one another. There were some, however, who were distant and less compassionate. I didn't blame them, remaining distant and as void of emotion as possible might make survival seem more possible here.

I gasped as Matilda began undoing my red corset, pulling me out of my clothing and taking my wig off, effect, ridding me of my disguise. It was a painful process. I could feel the tenderness of my ribs and my hips and the bruises that were beginning to form. Matilda gasped as her eyes raked over my body. Hearing her response wasn't comforting. It took a lot to surprise Matilda.

"Bella, what on earth did you do?"

I shook my head in response. I wasn't sure if I could gather the strength formulate a cohesive reply. So I said nothing and waited for her to continue. She pulled my hair away from my face, and tied it into a bun as she pulled me off the washroom floor. More pain. This time, I tried not to make any sounds. I tried to be brave. Bravery was a small piece of the old Bella that I was desperately hanging onto. I needed it to endure this misery.

The cold water began to flow from the shower head and I was, for once, thankful that the water was freezing. Matilda leaned my body against the shower wall and began to lather me gently with soap. Even with her tender touches, the pain intensified and every spot she touched evoked a new sensation pain in my body.

I felt more awake after the shower. Less groggy and more aware of my surroundings. Despite the soreness, I was able to dry myself off and even make it most of the way to my cot without assistance. Matilda rummaged through my clothing trunk and pulled out a plain, eggshell white nightgown. I happily shrugged myself into it and lay down on the stiff cot, relieved to no longer have to stand.

Matilda didn't leave my side. She sat beside my bed and stroked my hair, soothing me in whatever way she could. I was torn between my desire to be alone so I could break down and my desire to have someone, anyone, comfort me. I wanted a moment to myself, to be alone with my thoughts. I normally didn't yearn for the comfort of another, but I had also never been in a situation like this one before. I wanted the reassurance Matilda provided, but I hated that I _needed_ it. More the anything, though, I hated the feeling of loneliness that remained when she left me.

I had no one in this world anymore. My parents were long gone and I had no other relatives to turn to. I hadn't made any friends in the town I had moved to after my father, Charlie, died. I had been in Seattle for less then a week when I was abducted by Richard. My mind began to wander and I could feel myself losing control, I didn't know if I could contain my tears any longer. Memories of the night Richard had chosen and taken me flooded my mind, leaving me overwhelmed in the wake of them.

I decided that I wanted Matilda's company tonight. I decided that I wanted someone by my side tonight, someone that wouldn't abuse me, and someone that I didn't fear. Matilda would do.

We were quiet for a very long time. Matilda had moved onto the cot and now lay beside me, still stroking my hair. Neither of us was asleep. She was the first to speak, and the break in the silence was alarming, unsettling.

"Bella…" There was a note of apprehension in her softvoice. "What did you do to make Richard so angry?"

I shut my eyes in frustration. I didn't want to have this conversation tonight. I didn't want to go into details tonight. I wanted peace. I wanted company. I didn't want an interrogation. But I appreciated everything Matilda had done for me in the past, the things she continued to do despite the risk it posed to her, so I answered out of politeness.

"Tonight was my turn to dance in the Burlesque Hall," I began; startled at the ease with which I spoke. "And I always hate dancing, because I'm so uncoordinated and clumsy. It usually ends badly for me. Richard had some of his best customers in, and I stumbled while dancing for them. He said that it made him look like a fool." I sighed wearily, as I recalled the night. Matilda said nothing, just nodded her head in understanding.

"So I guess you won't be dancing for the next few weeks until you've healed and the bruises clear up." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. Whenever one of us had to face a punishment, we were put on chore duty, usually because we were too bruised to be half-naked in front of an audience. Bruises weren't attractive. And they didn't exactly do much to keep Richard's secret.

"That means I'll be on chore duty," I said dully. I didn't relish the thought. It was hard labour. My days would begin at five in the morning and I would work until ten at night. I would eat two bowls of cold stew a day. Every time I went on chore duty, my weight dropped and I was usually sick for weeks after.

"Hey, at least you'll be able to go outside!" Matilda whispered, trying to sound encouraging. She could sense my unease. Going outside was the one good thing about chore duty, since it consisted of doing things both inside the 'Manor,' as Richard called it, and outside.

Richard owned the 'Manor,' an entertainment house for men. It was divided into three sections: the Burlesque Dance Hall, the Bar, and the Private Viewing Rooms. Of the three, the Bar was by far the best place to work. You just had to put up with inappropriate comments and serve drinks to rude, unruly men.

The Private Viewing Rooms were elegantly described as a place to view 'a more intimate dance by the dancers from the Burlesque Hall'. However, anybody who went to the 'Manor' knew that "private viewing" meant anything goes. A girl would be selected from a line-up and if chosen, she and the customer would go to a private room, where you had to do whatever he asked of you. Of course, this was highly illegal and Richard knew it. Only his customers that used the Private Viewing Rooms knew what they really were. It was his best kept secret, and our living nightmare.

To keep up appearances and to keep the authorities from searching the 'Manor', Richard had his girls volunteer at a local hospital just outside Seattle, doing laundry once a week. Whoever was on chore duty was responsible for taking care of the laundry that week, which meant a chance to get outside, even if only for a moment.

Despite everything, I was glad that I would get a few moments of solitude. Even if it meant dirty hospital laundry and excruciating pain. Bunking with eleven other girls in one small basement meant limited privacy and little time alone.

I allowed my eyes to flutter closed to the thoughts of the peace I would soon experience. It was a dim escape but it was time alone and I couldn't wait.

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I awoke the next morning to find myself alone in my cot and that the pain had only intensified. I moved to get a better look at the clock on the wall. I winced, I was aggravating my already sore body. It was 4:30 in the morning_**. **_I was awake earlier than usual. The pain had woken me all throughout the night, and finally, I had given up on trying to fall back asleep. It seemed hopeless. I inhaled thoughtfully, being sure to move as purposefully as possible.

I wondered if chore duty would begin today. Sometimes, if Richard was in a merciful mood, he would allow the punished to take a day of rest before chore duty would start. The prospect of resting, healing without the fear of punishment was almost too much to be hoped for. I doubted Richard would be so kind. He had formulated some unfounded, but malevolent vendetta towards me, and I wasn't sure why. It was rare that he would assign me to the bar, and after a punishment, I always seemed to come back more battered then anyone else ever had. There was something about me that seemed to make him angry - even when I didn't do anything wrong, he made it clear that I also couldn't do anything right.

But I would know soon enough. If choresbegan for me today, Mikey would be in to get me in soon. I tried not to dwell on the anticipation of the day ahead of me. Instead, I tried again to memorize the room, the shape of it, its smell, the texture of it, in an attempt to distract myself.

The walls were a light grey stone and covered dirt or what appeared to be burn marks. The room was a fair size but notlarge enough to accommodate twelve cots.

My trunk contained every piece of clothing that was given to me when I arrived. I cringed in pain as I thought of how painful it would be to pull the starched white cotton shirt over the aching, torn flesh on my back. Still, anything seemed better then wearing my performance clothing. My casual, 'outdoor' clothes, as Richard called them, were to be worn on any occasion when he allowed us to leave the Manor. Leaving the Manor was a rare occurrence and many of the girls were conflicted about it.

Some were delighted to spend time outside of the confines of our prison. Others were uncomfortable with the idea of being so close to the general population. Being in public made it very difficult to abide by Richard's rules about maintaining secrecy.

I wasn't sure how I felt about leaving the Manor. In my two months with Richard, I hadn't been allowed to leave, not even to do laundry at the hospital during chore duty. He had carefully thought out time frames for everything. When you reached two months with him, you were allowed to leave on outings, work the bar, and you were given more leisurely time. After four months, when Richard was sure he could trust you, he would put you on the private viewing room rotation. Twice a week each girl was responsible for taking a private viewing room duty.

That was the part I was dreading the most. I took some comfort in knowing I still had two months before that milestone. Time seemed to creep by slowly here. And for once, I was grateful.

Suddenly, I didn't feel comfortable being alone with my thoughts. I needed a distraction… something… anything. I couldn't bear to spend another moment thinking about what I would become in two months time. It was too much. Physical pain was nothing in comparison to the emotional havoc this had unleashed in my life. Words couldn't accurately describe what it was like to feel so distant from your body that you didn't even recognize it. Every day of my life I felt as though my body and soul were being invaded in the most private and intimate of ways. I had never felt so broken before, not even when my parents died.

The thought of my parents brought tears to my eyes and I knew I had to keep myself busy until my day officially started. I decided a shower would be best. I carefully lifted myself from my cot, grabbed my towel from my trunk and rid myself of the night gown I had been wearing.

The cold water of the shower was soothing on my bruises and contusions. I knew this shower would probably be longer than usual. My muscles throbbed, vividly reminding me of last night.

Again, I tried to focus on my surroundings. I stood in the third shower of five tucked away in the corner of the washroom. A thin white curtain stretched across the expanse of the area, barely long enough to cover two of the stalls. I hadn't bothered to pull the curtain across to cover myself. There was little left to the imagination of my roommates ormy captors. Privacy was not a priority here.

Truth be told, I missed Phoenix. I missed the warmth, the sun, the freedom, my mother. I missed the things that were familiar and safe. Here, in my hell, nothing was safe and nothing familiar. And I was the complete opposite of free.

I was a prisoner.

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**APOV**

_Think, Alice, think! Where could she be?_ I shouted in my head. It seemed useless, something told me I couldn't interfere with this vision, anyway. This was a matter of fate. Any interruption could mean altering that fate and destroying Edward's future.

I couldn't do that, not when we were so close. I had waited for years for something that would bring Edward happiness. Living with him for decades, watching his motivation squander, sadness gnawing at him was painful for me as well. And although I knew the near future would hold more pain, I also knew that it would hold the source of Edward's greatest happiness. Who was I to mess with that? Oh, the power of omniscience, and the responsibilities that came with it.

Jasper reached for my hand and grasped it in his own. I was only vaguely aware of his presence until then. I smiled in response, trying to reassure him that I was fine. I knew I didn't fool him. He could sense every emotion I was feeling. He knew my own emotional state better then I knew it myself.

I was thankful that the others were hunting today and wouldn't be back until later. I needed to figure out a way to keep Edward from seeing my vision, just until he found her. Then I could tell him everything. And I had to figure out a way to keep myself from trying to save the girl on my own. I already felt as though I had made a connection with her. This girl was special. She already consumed my thoughts.

"Alice, is everything alright?" I could hear the concern in his voice and I felt a pang of guilt. I was so busy playing matchmaker and planning Edward's future, I'd forgotten how this would affect Jasper.

"I'm fine, really" I absentmindedly reached a hand up to his face, affectionately.

Jasper smiled. "Was it a vision?"

I had been afraid he would catch on. I didn't like keeping things from Jasper, but more then that, I hated lying to him. So I decided I wouldn't. Keeping things from him felt better then lying, anyway.

"Yes, it was."

"You can't tell me anything about it, can you?" he questioned in a gentle voice. The smile still hadn't faded from his face and suddenly, I felt a wave of calm wash over me, overshadowing any anxiety I had felt.

"No, Jazz. I _really_ wish I could. But, I could be messing with his fate." As soon as I said the words, I instantly regretted them. That was my first slip up. Now Jasper knew it had something to do with one of his brothers.

His smile remained; it was a gesture of understanding and acceptance. Our eyes held for a long time, but we didn't exchange words. Many of our conversations were physical, or simply implied. It wasn't difficult for me to read him, and I knew he could read me in the most literal sense. There was softness in his delicate tawny eyes. It told me all I needed to know without ever needing to hear the words. I grinned at him, marvelling at how lucky I was to have such a wonderful person in my life.

In my vision, a girl named Bella was being hurt by a man. She looked terrified but she was trying to appear brave. I saw flashes of a sign, "The Manor." I saw glimpses of her life and knew it had been full of pain.

And then I saw Forks Hospital, where Carlisle worked. I saw the girl tucked away in the basement doing laundry. And I saw Edward. The day of their meeting was close. I knew that when it came, Edward would face the greatest challenge of his long existence, and the task of saving Bella Swan would begin.

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**A/N: Here is the next chapter, as promised! If you have any questions, please ask them! I know that it might seem confusing right now, but things will be cleared up in future chapters. Plot development takes a while! **

**Also, I know the direction of this story may seem obvious, but it's probably not! This story, although rated M, will not contain any graphic descriptions of non-consensual sex, or any gruesome descriptions of violence, etc. I may allude to such things, but I will definitely not go into detail. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I appreciate it! Reviews keep my motivated, and keep the chapters coming. I'd like to have around 10 reviews for this chapter before I post chapter three... Also, I respond to ALL signed reviews that are left, just as a way of saying thank you.**

**A huge thank you to my lovely, and thorough beta, Legs. Did I mention that you're wonderful? **


	2. Prisoner

_**Disclaimer: All recognizable content belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is only a work of fanfiction, and is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

**POV: **_Bella, Edward, Alice_

**Chapter 2 - Prisoner**

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"_Darkness reigns at the foot of the lighthouse."  
__-Japanese Proverb_

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**BPOV**

Fresh air. I didn't think I'd ever experienced something so heavenly in my life. It smelt like freedom. Sure, it would be short-lived. That didn't keep me from enjoying it as much as I could. I delighted in the temperate breeze that captured my hair, sending it flying wildly around my face.

Mikey had dropped me off at the hospital's delivery entrance, with three carts piled full of our laundry, to be done in addition to the hospital's laundry. But I didn't mind. I was sure it would take me the entire day so I would have some time to myself. Leaving the Manor was not something that often happened, firstly because we weren't easily trusted, but secondly because we were also girls that were either presumed dead, or missing shortly after we were kidnapped. I remember Richard once saying that he would only allow the girls that 'nobody would miss' to leave the Manor, which was most of us. I suppose he thought I wouldn't try to escape – that I thought it would be took risky because of the consequences I would have to face if found.

Truth be told, that didn't stop me from thinking about it. I thought about it often, fantasized even, about my escape. I imagined waking in the depths of night, tiptoeing quietly through the through the empty, strangely silent rooms, past the doors that led to private viewing rooms, past the bar, the stage, silently opening one of the windows, pushing myself through it – freedom would taste like the dry summer heat of Arizona, overwhelming, but strangely comforting.

I was jolted from my revelry by the feeling of an uncomfortable shock that ran through my body, the source of the shock was found on my ankle. I was reminded of the large and unsightly ankle bracelet currently wrapped tightly around my legand concealed by denim jeans. The ankle bracelet had a GPS tracking device attached to a leather tether that would be able to record any movement that went beyond an allotted perimeter. Periodically, and at random intervals of time, a slight, but alarming shock would be sent through the bracelet. I gathered it to be a reminder from him. Richard only made us wear it when we were out without supervision.

_Even if I wanted to leave, I wouldn't be able to. He's got me locked up and under surveillance like an animal,_ I thought bitterly. I idly wondered to myself if this was some divine being's idea of Providence, if I was getting what I truly deserved. I was never a very religion person, was this my punishment? Or perhaps it was my punishment for not appreciating the life I had been given. And even if there wasn't some kind of divine intervention that damned me to this life, it was better me then someone else, right? If I wasn't stuck in this situation, some other poor girl would be, and I couldn't bear the thought of anyone else enduring this life. Or perhaps this was just what the fates had dealt to me – this was the hand I was meant to play.

I let a long sigh escape from my body as I pushed the heavy laundry carts through the door marked 'Delivery Entrance.' I stopped by the delivery manager's desk and handed him my volunteer card. He nodded curtly, paying little attention to me, and pointed toward a large ivory-coloured doorway marked 'Laundry'.

The room was quite large, filled with industrial-size washing and drying machines. It had few windows, but still far more then my chambers in the Manor, and was painted a sterile and hospital-appropriate pallid white. The floors were linoleum tile and the same white colour as the walls. Several chairs were situated against the wall.

I looked behind the double doors of the room and noticed several other laundry carts tucked behind them. I had my work cut out for me but I smiled to myself, despite it all. A day without Richard. A day without provocative clothes and appreciative growls as my broken and battered body struggled to dance to the rhythm of an overplayed song.

Today I could just be Bella Swan. I didn't have to be brave or strong. I didn't have to compromise my integrity to remain alive. No, Today I would just be Bella, the Forks Hospital Laundry volunteer. I could live with that. As I resigned myself to trying to forget, another jolt of electricity passed through my body, and I began biting my lip in an attempt to stifle my cry of pain. I soon realized that hard as I may try, I wouldn't be able to forget. The reminders surrounded me, overwhelmed me. My own body was a constant and vivid reminder. How could I escape what I felt I was beginning to define me?

I began my day's work, gazing longingly out of one of the larger windows. Rain. I'd heard all about the small town of Forks during my short time living in Seattle. Charlie used to live here with my mother but moved shortly after she left him. He said he couldn't stand the constant rain but I knew Forks reminded him too much of my mother. A reminder far too painful to live with.

My throat tightened uncomfortably at the thought of my parents. I missed them more then I could ever explain with words. I felt like a part of me was missing without them. But I guess it didn't matter anymore. I didn't really even know who I was anymore, anyway. I was losing myself slowly.

I absently wondered if they could see me where they were now. I hoped with every fibre of my being that they couldn't. The thought of them knowing what my life had become…I cringed_**. **_If heaven existed, would they be able to bear watching me do the things I was doing now? I doubted it. I wouldn't want them to, anyway. I felt horrible for hoping heaven was just a farce made up by optimistic people, too afraid to admit that perhaps death _was_ absolute.

I tried to clear my head of thoughts of the past, thoughts of the future. It only made things harder. And trying to fight the pain and the tears was exhausting. I didn't think I had it in me today. I wanted a respite. I didn't want a day of reflection.

I continued watching the rain fall as I shoved the laundry into the washing machine. It was mesmerizing to watch it fall in one solid sheet. I looked out at the sky through the window, bleak and grey – and a part of me felt connected to this world. I wasn't sure why but I felt as though I could belong here… as though I _should_ belong here.

_Maybe I miss my parents… or maybe I'd rather live anywhere but under Richard's cruel, unyielding tyranny. _

**

* * *

**

**EPOV **

_Edward, do you really think it's wise to be missing more time from school?_ Carlisle thought from behind his desk.

"It's not as though I'll be behind on anything. I've done this all before." I said, as I leaned casually against the doorway of his office.

_It might be wise to step inside and close the door behind you, Edward. People might find it strange to witness a one-sided conversation. _He smiled and motioned for me to sit across from him in the comfortable looking leather chair.

I smirked at the thought of someone watching me carry on a conversation by myself. Humans were comical creatures to observe.

I sat across from Carlisle, in an unreasonably large chair. "I just don't have it in me to sit through another day of it, Carlisle. I would go hunting but I'm not thirsty." Edward frowned, thinking of how many countless hours he spent hunting, satiating his thirst. It was a good way to pass the time, to while away the lonely hours.

_I know this must be very frustrating for you. I wish there was something I could do to make it easier. _In life, most people weren't genuine. Most people said things to appease others_**.**_ But Carlisle was different. He was one of the few minds I had come across in my time that actually said what he meant and meant what he said. It was encouraging.

"I'm fine, really. Just growing tired of the tedium." I regretted the words as I spoke them. Carlisle and the rest of my family had been trying so hard to make things easier for me. I knew it was difficult for them to watch me struggle to find my own niche, my own place in our 'forever'. My pain was having an effect of them. Carlisle, especially. He was doing everything he could and I was quite ungrateful.

"Edward, your time will come. You will find something in your life that gives you purpose. You aren't destined to be alone forever, son," Carlisle spoke aloud, which I assumed he did for the purpose of impact. If he said the words out loud, they probably seemed more valid to him.

"If that were true, don't you think Alice would see it coming?" I asked. Carlisle smiled again, his grin mischievous.

_Who's to say she hasn't? _He thought, organizing papers that lay on his desk. I wondered if he knew something I didn't. Did Alice have a vision? I searched Carlisle's mind as thoroughly as I could, but I couldn't find any hint of him knowing anything. I concluded that his comment was simply to raise my curiosity, to keep me hopeful. I felt so overwhelmed by emotional turmoil that I wondered if I was losing my edge – my capability and my confidence. Why was I questioning what I already knew? If Alice had a vision, I would surely be aware of it.

"Would you mind if I took refuge in my normal spot?"

"Not at all, Edward. I do believe, though, that someone might be in and out of there periodically today. We have a volunteer doing laundry for the hospital. Shall I be expecting your company on the ride home tonight?"

I shook my head.

"Very well. You know where to find me." I was grateful he didn't try and pry any further. I needed some time to think things through and I wasn't ready to share how I was feeling just yet. It was at times like these I was glad I was the only one with the capability to read minds. These were thoughts I desperately wanted, and needed, to keep to myself.

**

* * *

**

**APOV**

"Where is Edward?" Rosalie asked, twirling her hair between her fingers in an attempt to seem human. Or, I mused, it could be her vanity shining through. I never quite knew with Rose. There was a side to her that was inherently human; it was probably intricately connected with the part of her that longed so badly to still be mortal. It was no secret that Rosalie's life before this had been, in her own measure, perfect. She had been so close to gaining everything she always hoped for in her human life. A husband, a beautiful wedding, the pride of her parents, and most importantly, the possibility of a family. It was all ripped away from her cruelly, in the most evil and vile of ways. I guess that offered some explanation as to why she was always so bitter. Losing everything in such a violent way was undoubtedly painful.

"He left before second period. I don't think he's having a good day."

Rosalie snorted "Is he _ever_ having a good day? If we're measuring the _continuity_ of Edward's bad days, shouldn't we measure in _centuries_ and not days?"

"Ease up, Rose."

Rosalie shot Emmett a reproving glare.

Emmett threw his hands up in the air, mocking a show of surrender.

I was vaguely aware of the eyes around the cafeteria that would momentarily lock on our table and then look quickly away, fearful of being caught. People were always curious about the Cullens. The small town of Forks, Washington allowed for few secrets. Our very existence troubled the town. We were one very big mystery.

"Do you see him coming home anytime soon, Alice?" Jasper enquired, placing a hand on my knee.

I smiled at him and immediately felt enveloped by love. It irked me sometimes to not be in control of my own emotions. But love was one emotion I couldn't be angry with Jasper for channelling.

"Oh, yes. He isn't far. He went to the hospital today. I suppose to hang out in the laundry room, as usual. He needed some space to think."

"Like he's the one that needs space to think!" Rosalie hissed, loud enough only for a vampire to hear. "He's the one constantly in _our_ heads, dissecting _our_ thoughts!"

"Are you angry at me too, Rose, for being able to see your future?" I snapped in response. I had always felt oddly protective of Edward.

"At least your talent is _useful_," she muttered.

I decided it wasn't worth the argument likely to ensue. I was busy trying to focus on Edward, anyway. My vision told me he would meet the girl, Bella, at Forks Hospital. I wasn't sure of the date. I didn't know if it would be today and I hoped I would be able to see something useful soon.

Lunch was almost over but I knew we had more time then normal.

"There's no rush. We have 10 extra minutes before class. Mr. Banner's substitute teacher is going to get lost and won't be able to find the classroom for a little while." I laughed inwardly at the vision of the stout, large-bosomed, middle-aged woman frantically searching for the biology classroom.

"Stupid humans," Emmett laughed, placing his arm around Rosalie, pulling her into him.

I could see the expression on Rosalie's face change from indifference to annoyance. She was sensitive around the subject of humans. They reminded her of her own immortality, and the sacrifices that came with it.

"Oh, lighten up, Rose. He didn't-.." Before I could finish, my vision of the cafeteria went blank and my mind was suddenly filled with an image of a different setting: a laundry room. My head snapped up and a smile appeared on my face. I didn't have to keep it to myself any longer.

"It's finally here. The day has finally come. Edward will meet Bella Swan today and _everything_ will change."

**

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**

**A/N: Here it is, chapter 2. This chapter was important to introduce the meeting of Bella and Edward, explain a few details, and tie the two worlds neatly together. It's a bit short, I know, but the next chapter should make up for it!**

**Let me know what you think – I love reviews – they keep my going… (review, review, review).**

**Thanks to 4theluvofMary for your review. That's what I call a review! I like some substance, a few questions, someone who isn't afraid to challenge my story, but still let me know what they like about it. And thank you to everyone else who reviewed! I noticed that a lot of people have added this to their alert list, and I'd really be grateful if those people could take a moment just to leave me a review. It only takes a few minutes, and it means a lot to me! **

**Lastly, thank you to Legs, my fantastic and hard-working beta. Your work makes such a huge difference. **


	3. Secrets

_**Disclaimer: All recognizable content belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is only a work of fanfiction, and is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**POV: **_Bella, Edward_

**Chapter 3 - Secrets**

* * *

"_Silence was never written down."  
__-Italian Proverb_

* * *

**BPOV**

I didn't think I was physically capable of lifting another load of laundry out of the washing machines. I barely made a dent in the piles that surrounding me, and I began to feel weak with exhaustion.

The lack of sleep, food and the constant physical pain I was experiencing since my time at the Manor was beginning to take its toll on my body. I could feel the fatigue in my bones, and I could feel the pain slowly settling more deeply. I was sickly thin, and extremely tired. The combination of the two was more then my body could handle. My entire body felt ready to dissolve into thin air, taking with it whatever was left of my sanity and my resolve.

Still, I continued working, in spite of the pain. Things needed to be done, and nobody else was going to do it for me. I didn't want to face the punishment that would surely come if Richard discovered I hadn't completed my chores for the day.

I was used to cleaning; used to being the responsible one. When I had lived with Renee, I did most of the cooking and house-work, and when I lived with Charlie, I did the same for him, too. I didn't mind. But today, the thought of doing anything more was daunting. I couldn't even relish in my freedom as I had hoped, not when my body felt like it was being shredded to pieces from the inside out.

As I lifted another load of laundry from the washer, I could feel my knees beginning to shake beneath me, my hands quivering. I tried to focus my vision as the room slowly began to spin. I felt a light airiness in my head, and I tried to steady myself against the machine in front of me.

And suddenly everything went black.

* * *

**EPOV**

I walked through the intricate hallways of the hospital as quickly as I could without drawing attention to myself. I hated doing anything at human speed, but I couldn't very well dash through the hospital at a supernatural speed with so many people watching. Or could I?

Doing so would mean revealing myself, and my family, as the things we really were. Keeping out secret was important, and failing to do so would mean alerting the Volturi, and bringing forth my demise. _Peace at last…_ I immediately banished the thoughts from my mind, because revealing myself would mean revealing my family, and no matter how badly I wished for an end to my life, I wouldn't be responsible for bringing about their end too. They were too important to me.

Walking through the hallway I passed by many familiar faces. Everyone in the hospital knew me to be Carlisle's son, a mysterious Cullen, son of the highly-respect Dr. Cullen. I nodded and smiled politely at the nurses I passed, hoping that none of them would stop me to make conversation.

_Oh, he's just as yummy as his father. But unlike Dr. Sexy Cullen,__** he's**__ available! _I chuckled softly, overhearing the thoughts of the many women passing by me. It wasn't unusual for me to hear thoughts like hers – dull, meaningless… predictable. It was amusing to me to realize that nobody really understood the danger they were in simply being in my presence. They didn't realize that they walked amongst blood-thirsty vampires everyday of their lives. I was sure that if they knew, they would no longer be fantasizing about me or my father. I laughed again at the thought.

I was relieved to finally reach the basement doors. Finally I could walk at my normal pace without fearing revealing myself to anyone. The basement stairwell was generally empty, just like the basement. The only reason to be down there was to receive a delivery, or to do laundry.

That was probably why I chose this particular place to think. It was usually empty and filled with the noise of the laundry machines, drowning out the thoughts of anyone else. But I was also close enough to Carlisle that I wouldn't be able to do anything rash without alerting him. I guess this had become a safe place for me to be. I scoffed at the idea of the word 'safe'. You were never safe with vampires lurking about… not even if you were the vampire.

As I reached the bottom of the stairwell, I heard a soft thump coming from the direction of the laundry room. I contemplated turning around, assuming that someone was in the laundry room and had been the source of the noise. However, when I listened for the thoughts that would accompany the presence of a human, I couldn't hear anything. Strangely enough, though, I could hear a faint heart beat. It sounded much slower then it should have been.

My curiosity had gotten the better of me, and I decided to see what the source of the heartbeat and the thumping sound had been.

I could smell her as soon as I opened the door to the hallway. It was the most intoxicating scent I had ever come across. It overwhelmed me with the strongest bloodlust I could imagine experiencing. It felt as though someone had propped my mouth open, and poured acid down my throat. I clenched my jaw tightly and held my breath as the venom coursed frantically through my veins, and poured into my mouth. Her scent only became stronger as I approached the door of the laundry room, the venom pooling as I struggled to maintain control.

And that's when I saw her. An angel, lying broken on the floor. She was pale white -rivalling my own complexion- her lips looked to be a blue colour and she was abnormally thin. Almost emaciated. She wore a plain white cotton t-shirt and a pair of loose denim jeans. Her body lay motionless on the cold linoleum tiles where she had fallen, her hair splayed around her in beautiful disarray.

I knew she was alive; her heartbeat was evidence of that. But she looked to be very ill, malnourished a probably dehydrated. She needed help. And this is where the conflict arose.

Her scent was overwhelmingly powerful, and it threatened my control more then anything else ever had. I was besieged by both her beauty, and my desire for her blood. Even though I was holding my breath, I still had the memory of her scent lingering in my mind, and the stabbing pain in my throat remained.

Instinctively, I thought of ravaging her, and draining her of every ounce of blood she had. Snapping her neck so she wouldn't feel any pain, and then allowing my razor sharp teeth to drag across her porcelain skin, tasting her sweet, sweet blood.

And as quickly as the thoughts filtered into my mind, I forced them out. I was disgusted with myself for thinking of such things – for thinking of killing this beautiful angel that lay before me. I decided I would bring her to Carlisle; she was in desperate need of medical attention.

I just hoped she would make it to him alive.

* * *

"How is she doing, Carlisle?" I questioned as my father entered the waiting room I was sitting in.

"Her condition is stabling…" _Edward, I think we should discuss this somewhere else… where others can't hear what we're saying. _I nodded ever so slightly, and followed Carlisle as he left the room, and guided me into his office.

"Well is she _really_ okay?" I questioned, waiting for him to elaborate.

"Yes, she should be fine… physically"

"And?" I could tell there was something he was leaving out. But I didn't have the patience to search his head for the answers. I was too mentally exhausted from having to control my desire for the girl's blood. Carlisle sighed before responding.

"She is malnourished, as well as dehydrated, as you expected. I did a thorough examination of her, Edward, and it appears that there is more to her situation then meets the eye…"

"Go on" I urged him, growing impatient.

"She has several large bruises and contusions all over her body. Nearly her entire body, save for her face, is covered with what appears to be new bruises." I cringed at his words, not wanting to believe what he was alluding to.

"She could be clumsy, Carlisle. Humans are clumsy." I suggested, hopeful. But even I knew how absurd my suggestion sounded. Nobody was that clumsy.

"Doubtful, Edward. These kinds of bruises aren't caused by falling. And the malnourishment and dehydration certainly aren't a result of her human fallibilities." I nodded.

"I'm proud of you. I can tell that your thirst for her blood is strong, and you resisted. You've done well." I turned my head away at his words. I didn't want to hear his praise. I didn't deserve it. I had thought the most evil thoughts only minutes earlier. I had thought of killing a human, of taking a life, for my own selfish needs. I wasn't deserving of anyone's praise.

"I've never experienced anything like that. Her smell… it was so strong, and it was overwhelming. I didn't know if I would be able to control myself. And…" I stopped before allowing myself to continue. Would Carlisle understand why I felt such a strong connection to this girl? Would I be able to explain and justify the attachment I already felt to someone I knew nothing about?

"Go on, Edward."

"I just feel such a strong… connection to her. I felt _protective_ of her, and I think that's what allowed me to carry her to you, without… _killing_ her." I recoiled at the absurdity of my words.

_There is nothing to be ashamed of, Edward. It's not impossible to feel connected to someone you don't know. Some people are born with a strong bond to one another, and there is nothing that can rationalize that bond, or even begin to explain it. _

I was thankful for his reassurance, but it still did nothing to soothe me.

"And I don't think I can read her thoughts. I tried to when I saw her unconscious, and then I tried again as I was carrying her up to you. Nothing. Not even a clouded view of her unconscious thoughts."

_Hm. That certainly is unusual._

"Do you know anything about her?" I asked, curious.

"No. I don't have her registered either. Nobody but you and I know she is here right now, or that she is under my care. I don't know much about her, but by the looks of it, I'm thinking anonymity is important to this girl. I'd like to speak with her before I pry into her life."

"That's probably for the best." I agreed. Something was going on with this girl, and I couldn't ignore the instinctive feeling that I had to protect her. I felt an unfathomable amount of anger thinking of what, or who could have possibly hurt her in such a way.

_Get a grip, Edward, get a grip! _I thought to myself. I mustn't lose control of my emotions. Perfect control was of the utmost important to me. And I wouldn't allow myself to waver – no matter how instinctive my feelings about this girl were.

Why was I so overwhelmed by her? There was something about her presence, something magical. When I saw her, I could see nothing but her. Every part of me was drawn to her: her figure, slender and pale like a porcelain ornament and seemingly as fragile, also looked to be light as a feather, ethereal even in her desperation. Her thin lips had the strangest curl to them, and her pale, hallow face was framed by chestnut brown curls.

But, not matter how beautiful she was, I couldn't ignore the way I thirsted for her blood, the way I _needed_ her blood. I could only compare it to one of the few remaining human memories I had. It was as though her blood was the quintessential source of life for me, comparable to the air a human needs to breathe.

Already, this was more complicated then I had anticipated.

* * *

**BPOV**

I panicked when I woke up and didn't recognize my surroundings. The smell of the room was different from what I was used to. I was used to the stench of the old chambers of the Manor. The smell I was experiencing was sterile, clean… familiar.

Slowly, I opened my eyes as I tried desperately to focus my vision. Everything was hazy, but even through the haze, I could tell I wasn't in the place I expected I would have been on a normal morning. This day was shaping up to be anything but normal.

I reached up to brush my hair out of my face when I felt a tug of resistance coming from my arm. Finally, regaining my vision, I looked at my arm and saw the needle digging into my flesh, attached to a tube that was connected to a bag of a clear liquid solution. I immediately felt a recognizable feeling in my stomach: nausea.

_Hospital! I'm in a hospital! How did I get here? _I could feel the panic rising; I could feel my breathing pitch. I was desperate with worry and anxiety.

"Hello" I was greeted by the voice of a god, I was sure. It was soothing and calming, and left me feeling at ease. When I matched the face with the voice, I was even more startled. The man standing at the side of my bed was tall, with unnaturally pale, but with flawless skin. Dark purple circles outlined his butterscotch eyes, and were accented by hair in casual disarray that was a strange shade of bronze, accented by auburn. He was, without at doubt, the most fascinating, stunning and breathtakingly gorgeous person I had ever laid eyes one. The Greek gods had nothing on him.

This was why I was convinced I was dead. Perfection and beauty in this magnitude simply didn't exist. How was it possible for someone so beautiful to be standing next to me, speaking to me? It wasn't. This must be my version of heaven.

"A-am I… dead?" I asked. I heard him chuckle lightly and smile at me, his butterscotch eyes warming as he laughed.

"No, you're not dead." He spoke quickly, and it seemed like his body was too rigid, almost as though he was holding his breath as he spoke.

"Oh…" I responded sheepishly, ashamed at the conclusion I had drawn from his presence.

"Well then… what am I doing here?" I could feel my panic mounting. What about Richard? What about my responsibilities? He would be so angry with me if he knew what had happened – if he knew I was speaking to someone outside of the Manor, hooked up to IV's and oxygen tanks. I wondered, just for a moment, if Richard and the Manor had been a dream… but then I was reminded that it was not by the painful bruises that ached all throughout my body.

"Well, I was on my way downstairs when I passed by the laundry room, and I saw you lying on the floor. It appears you collapsed due to a very serious case of dehydration and malnourishment." I could feel a blush creeping onto my face as my desperation began to mount. I couldn't let him find out. My survivor depended on secrecy.

"So… you brought me up here?" He didn't look old enough to be a doctor, so I wondered where the person who had treated me was.

"Yes. My father works for the hospital, and I brought you to him. He took care of you and here we are." He stated simply, leaning casually against the doorframe of the room. I found his presence to be overpowering. He was so beautiful, that it was difficult to find words if I was looking at him.

"Well… thank you. And tell your father I said thank you as well. But I really should get going, I have plans tonight" I explained hastily, sitting up before I felt the shock of his incredibly cold hand make contact with my arm, gently pushing me back down again.

_Why was he so cold? _I questioned, momentarily distracted from my attempt to leave.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, yet. You haven't fully recovered, and it's likely that you'll just fall down again as soon as you stand up." I scoffed at him and turned my head, frustrated. He didn't seem to understand that this was a life or death situation.

"My name is Edward Cullen, nice to meet you." He didn't extend his hand to shake my own. It seemed odd, considering his mannerisms were oddly polite, definitely a rarity for the 21st century. I didn't make anymore of it, though.

"Um. My name is Bella." My response was so automatic, that I had forgotten that giving my real name was probably not the wisest idea. It wouldn't have mattered if I lied anyway, I was a terrible liar and even the most gullible person wouldn't believe anything untruthful that I said.

"Are you in pain?" He questioned, obviously reading my response as discomfort rather then frustration.

"No. No, I'm fine. _Really_. But I should be going, it's getting late, and I don't want anyone worrying about me."

"Sure. Will you just give me a moment? I'm sure you'd like to speak with my father about a few things." He smiled at me before he left the room. It was a smile that looked to be masking pain. I couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable he seemed in my presence. Almost as though being near me was agonizing. The thought sent me into a tailspin of emotion, distracting me, yet again, from my intentions to leave.

"Ah, you must be Bella. Pleasure to meet you, Bella. I'm Carlisle Cullen, the doctor that looked after you after Edward found you." For the second time in a matter of minutes, I found myself speechless at the striking man standing before me. How could there possibly be more then one person that was gorgeous beyond the explanation of words? Apparently, it was possible.

"T-thank… you" I tried to maintain my composure, but their beauty was incredibly intimidating. The doctor smiled at me kindly, instantly making me feel more comfortable.

"It's a good thing Edward found you when he did, Bella. You were in pretty poor condition, and it was important that you saw a doctor." I nodded, but I was so overcome by the constant swirl and battle of emotions that I felt in my head and in my heart, that I couldn't find words to respond. My heart was telling me – no, screaming at me to stay – I felt safe here, with these people I barely knew. But my head was telling me to leave, to run away as fast as I could, because I knew how grim this whole situation could be. No matter how mesmerized I was, the thought of Richard just wouldn't fade.

"I don't have you registered with the hospital staff, Bella. I took care of you without the knowledge of my co-workers. I didn't really know anything about you, anyway. I checked your clothing for a wallet or ID, but I couldn't find anything…" He trailed off, and I saw him throw a slight glance in the direction of Edward. It looked as though Edward had nodded, but the gesture was so subtle, that I couldn't be sure.

"I was also surprised to see what you have around your ankle" I felt my heart beat quicken. Panic. I was definitely panicking now.

_He thinks I'm a fugitive! He probably thinks I just got out of jail or that I'm on probation. This is bad, Bella. Get out. Get out. Get out! _My thoughts weren't coherent, probably because I was shouting at myself in my head. I knew though, that the amount of danger involved in even speaking to these men surpassed any other danger I had ever been in. And I had a stinging feeling that it wasn't just dangerous for me, but for them as well. Richard wouldn't keep them alive if they knew too much. Suddenly, I found my voice again.

"It's not what you think it is, really! I haven't just escaped from jail or anything…" Both men smiled politely at my words.

"The thought hadn't even crossed my mind."

"Thank you… for everything. But I should really get going. It's getting late, and I don't want anyone to be… _worried _about where I am. What time is it, anyway?" I questioned, finally realizing that I actually didn't have a clue what time it was, or how long I had been out.

"You haven't been unconscious for long. It's been about thirty-five minutes since Edward brought you up to me. If you wouldn't mind, before you left, would it be okay if I asked you a few questions?" The look on my face must have betrayed my attempt to hide my terror at the thought of sharing anything about myself with these beautiful strangers. Oddly, it wasn't because I didn't trust them. I just felt that saying anything would make them unsafe. I couldn't quite understand why, but I felt strangely protective of both of these men, Edward especially.

"Whatever you tell Carlisle will remain confidential, Bella. He is bound by doctor patient confidentiality. And even if he wasn't, if you told him something you didn't want anyone else to know, he wouldn't dare share it with another soul." Edward's voice was reassuring, confident, strong, yet soothing all wrapped up neatly into one. I felt at ease when he spoke. I felt like I could trust him, and Carlisle, which was completely against my nature. I trusted very few people. I couldn't understand why I found it so easy to trust these people – these strangers.

"Edward is right, Bella. Whatever you tell me will stay between you and I. But I would really feel better allowing you to go if you and I just discussed a few things first. Edward will gladly leave if you would like some privacy." My resolve was weakening. I was still in pain, and I was tired. I was sure both of these things contributed to my compliance. I nodded. And before I even had a moment to glance up, Edward was leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

Carlisle pulled a chair slightly closer to my bed, and sat down with graceful ease. I couldn't bear to look at him, so I bit my bottom lip and fidgeted with the covers instead.

"Let's start with an easy one, shall we? Do you live here in Forks?"

"No. I live in Seattle" _Damn it Bella, could you at least try to not be so painfully honest?!_

"You look like you can't be any older then 18. Do you live with your parents?" I was pretty sure Carlisle read the emotions that played across my face when he asked about my parents. The pain, the longing, the anguish. I didn't try to hide it. It was too real and far too raw.

"No. I don't live with my parents." He nodded, a sad look flashing in his caramel eyes.

"I see. Do you live on your own?" The questions were getting harder, and riskier. I decided to be truthful, but just not share the whole truth. I was safe that way, wasn't I?

"No."

"Do you attend high school in Seattle?"

"No."

"Have you completed high school already?"

"No. Not yet."

"Hm." He paused for a long moment before saying anything else, seemingly contemplating my answers. I wondered if he thought I was lying.

"Is someone hurting you, Bella?" My breath caught in my throat. My hands began to shake, and I could hear the heart monitor beeping frantically, calculating the increase in the beating of my heart.

_I can't tell him. I can't tell anyone. Ever. _

* * *

**A/N: I am so, so sorry it's taken so long to update. I've been having a few issues with my beta, and unfortunately, she isn't able to continue betaing for me right now. It's been a long few weeks, and a busy few weeks, but finally, here is the next chapter! **

**I apologize in advance for any mistakes I may have not caught - I'm short a beta at the moment, and still desperately searching for one! If there is anyone that is a registered beta and would be interested in betaing this story, please let me know!**

**Special thank you to: BelleDuJour and cinnyshy for their lovely (and motivating) reviews!**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter :)**


	4. Breathless

_**Disclaimer: All recognizable content belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is only a work of fanfiction, and is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

**POV: **_Edward, Bella_

**Chapter 4 – Breathless **

* * *

"_When a needle falls into a deep well, many people will look into the well,  
but few will be ready to go down after it."_

_-African Proverb_

* * *

**EPOV**

It wasn't difficult to overhear the conversation Bella and Carlisle were having. They were in the next room, and although they were speaking in soft voices, I could hear them as clearly as though they were next to me. One benefit of being a vampire was having exceptional hearing. It was extremely advantageous, in this situation, especially.

A part of me did feel like I was invading Bella's privacy by listening in on something so intimately personal. But I felt that my need to help her, to _protect_ her was far too strong to deny. Of course, I could always just browse Carlisle's thoughts later, but admittedly, I did not have the patience.

I focused again, honing in on both the conversation and Carlisle's thoughts. Had I been able to hear Bella's thoughts, I would have listened to hers as well. Alas, her mind seemed to remain a complete mystery to me.

"You look like you can't be any older then 18. Do you live with your parents?" I could clearly hear Carlisle intentionally softening the tone of his voice, taking on a formal, but gentle, etiquette he typically used with his patients. For some reason, I felt bothered knowing he was treating Bella like any other patient he saw. Immediately, however, I realized that he truly wasn't treating Bella like anyone else – she was special, and I wasn't the only one who could sense it.

_I'll start with something easy, so as not to overwhelm her. She doesn't seem very eager to be honest with me. I wonder if I'll actually get anything truthful from her. _

"No. I don't live with my parents." The raw pain and anguish in her voice was so evident it was difficult to listen to. I could clearly catch the way her voice stumbled awkwardly over the words, trying to purposefully mask the sorrow the subject obviously awakened. Most people wouldn't have noticed the subtle inflections in her voice that clearly conveyed her eagerness to suppress the tears she was fighting against. Emotions were my specialty, and I found it very easy to read what people truly meant in what they said, even if I could only hear their voice and not see their face. Of course, being able to read _most_ minds helped tremendously.

_Ah. I've hit a nerve it appears. She looks to be in such pain at the simple mention of her parents. I wonder if she's lost them. This girl – this child – desperately needs someone to help her. _

Carlisle's thoughts were always undeniably selfless and unadulterated further evidence that Bella already meant something to him, too. Something about Bella awakened a deep, primal instinct in both Carlisle and myself – the instinct to protect.

I was troubled to learn that something was causing Bella so much pain. But I pushed my own feelings aside – I needed to focus on the conversation, to discover how she had become so sickly thin, battered and abused.

"I see. Do you live on your own?"

"No." Again, the pain in her voice was alarming.

_There is something she is trying hard to keep from me. It won't be easy to get this out of her, she's very guarded._

I watched the girl through Carlisle's thoughts of her. Through his eyes, she looked pale, tired, fearful, hesitant and nervous. But to Carlisle, and to me, she didn't look weak. Her resolve was testament to her incredible strength. It was clear that the secret she was hiding was causing her pain, but she hid it anyway. Possibly to protect someone – herself? Others? I had spent so little time with her, and already she seemed selfless, something that so many of her kind were incapable of.

"Do you attend high school in Seattle?"

_Please respond with an answer other than 'no'. _

Carlisle was desperate, and determined to help her. As was I.

Although I was engrossed in their conversation, I couldn't ignore the painful and familiar burning sensation in my throat. The thirst I felt when I remembered and caught wind of her scent again was agonizing to me. It was as though my throat had completely gone dry, in the middle of the desert on the most painfully hot day of the season. My body ached to taste her blood, to allow my teeth to cut into her flesh and draw her blood, so as to drink the sweet liquid.

"You're a monster" I hissed harshly, speaking only to myself in a voice so low, I doubted even Carlisle would be able to hear it. I felt as though my mind and body were split into two. The part of me that wanted no more then to take her, and devour her. And then the part that valued her life above the thought of her sweet blood. I wasn't yet sure which part was more dominant.

**BPOV**

I didn't know how to answer his question. _Is someone hurting you, Bella? _His voice resounded through my head as I frantically began thinking of ways to respond. I thought of not responding altogether, but I realized that it would make my answer quite obvious anyway. And then I thought of telling him the truth. I thought of telling him everything. About Richard, about my life and the punishments he put me through. I thought of telling him and having him save me – having Edward save me from the nightmare that had become my reality.

That wasn't possible though. No, I couldn't tell him the truth. So I would have to lie. That was my only option.

"I'm fine" I could hear how automated my response sound. Even I could hear the lie in my words, and I was its creator.

"When I was examining you, I noticed that you have bruises and contusions all over you. They look to be fairly new, and quite honestly, it is concerning to me." His body became more rigid in the chair, more serious and professional looking.

"I'm… clumsy." _Way to go, Bella. Like he'll believe that! Even if it is true, it doesn't explain the bruises. _

"And the ankle bracelet?"

"That's… I'm really sorry Dr. Cullen… I don't want to say anymore about it. I'm sorry"

"You have nothing to apologize for…" before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by a light knock on the door.

"Would it be alright if Edward joined us now?" I nodded in response.

"Come in, Edward." And in walked the Greek god, effectively leaving me breathless again. Both Edward and Carlisle looked at me seemingly concerned, when I finally realized that I had stopped breathing. The sight of Edward literally left me winded, gasping for air. A serious look settled on Edward's face as he made his way into the room, standing next to Carlisle's chair.

Silence filled the room for a long time before anyone spoke.

"So, you volunteer at the hospital every week, Bella?" It was Edward that was speaking now, his voice very controlled, his eyes trained on me. It appeared again, oddly enough, that he wasn't _breathing_.

"No. Not every week. A few people I know do, and we… alternate." I felt silly, twiddling my thumbs and averting my eyes, like a child that was being reprimanded for bad behaviour. I wasn't lying, but I was also leaving out important details. The details they were desperately trying to get out of me.

"Oh. That's very kind of you. Are you apart of an organization?" Carlisle questioned.

"No. Nothing like that." The conversation was turning painful as they guessed at my reasons for being here. I wished I could tell them, I wish I didn't have to remain silent – but I did. It was safer, for everyone. And even if I could tell them, what would they think of me? In two months time I would be nothing more then a… I couldn't bring myself to use the word, no matter how appropriate it was.

"We're trying to help you! But you're not making it very easy." I was slightly shocked at the change in Edward's tone of voice. His butterscotch eyes were burning with passion, his knuckles clenched by his side, and his voice severe and menacing. It was shocking, but it wasn't frightening. I got the distinct feeling that Edward felt I should be afraid of him; but there wasn't anything about him that I found to be worthy of my fear. His eyes, no matter how severe, were still sincere and kind. I was drawn to him, and I honestly didn't know why.

"Edward…" Carlisle's voice was low, and warning.

"I apologize, Bella. I did not mean to frighten you, or over step any boundaries. It's just clear that you're in need of some help. You have some alarming bruises on your body, you're underfed, and you look overworked and tired. You're seventeen and you don't live with either of your parents… isn't there anything I can do to help you?"

_How did he know? I didn't tell him about not living with my parents… he hadn't been in the room when Dr. Cullen and I were discussing that…_

"I… how did you know that I don't live with my –"I had decided that it wasn't worth it. It didn't matter how he knew. All that mattered was that in trying to get myself out of this situation, I had somehow immersed myself further into it.

"I've answered your questions, Dr. Cullen. And I really appreciate you looking after me, but I really should get going. I have piles of laundry to still finish before I have to go, and people that will be expecting me to be done on time."

"Of course, I understand. The laundry has already been taken care of, though, a courtesy of one of our very helpful staff members. We appreciate you girls volunteering your time like this, so it's the least we could do in return!"

"T-thank y-ou." I managed to stammer out. Dr. Cullen made quick work of gently preparing me to go home. Removing the IV, and unhooking the machines I was attached to. He placed my clothing on the edge of the hospital bed, and left me alone to change.

Edward had quietly left the room as Dr. Cullen began removing the needles from my body. I winced when he pulled the saline drip from my arm, and a small streak of deep read blood flowed down my arm. Dr. Cullen seemed to find in comical that I was immediately uncomfortable at the sight of my own blood. I, however, found nothing comical about this situation.

Dressing was a slow process. I tried to carefully slip into my clothing without irritating any of my injuries, and I still felt somewhat unstable on my feet. The doctor had warned me that I wouldn't begin to feel completely myself again unless I began taking care of myself properly.

I guess that meant that I wasn't going to begin to feel 100% anytime soon. Oh well. The better I felt physically, the more capable I was of actually processing my true emotions surrounding the events of the past few months. Yeah, 50% would do just fine for me.

**EPOV**

_It looked like you came dangerously close to losing control back there, Edward. I trust you, and I know that if you trust yourself. You just have to start believing it, as I do. _

I studied Carlisle carefully as he continued to make notes while simultaneously having a silent conversation with me. The man was nothing short of a genius.

"It's so overwhelming – her scent. My frustration was shifting back and forth between fighting my… blood lust, and fighting my annoyance at her insistence to keep things from us, to keep us out." I leaned against the grand mahogany chair in the corner of Carlisle's office.

_I know you want to help her Edward, and so do I. But we can't help someone that doesn't want our help. _

I low snarl escaped my chest as I spoke in a hushed voice "So you're just going to give up on her then? You're going to turn your back on someone that_ needs_ you?" I immediately felt terrible for the way I responded to Carlisle. He had been nothing but patient and gentle with her, and I could tell her truly did want to help her. My reaction had been instinctive, I felt outraged at the idea of giving up on this girl. I was troubled at how many of my reactions seemed to be instinctive today, but overwhelmed that despite that fact, my blood lust seemed to come second to every other feeling.

"I'm sorry. I truly am. That was out of line. I just wish I knew why I feel such a connection to her, and why I feel so protective of her. I'm fighting myself. I feel like I've been split in two. A part of me is so overwhelmed by her intoxicating scent, and thirsts for her blood almost to the point of incoherence. But another part of me, the slightly more dominant part wants to shield and protect her from whatever or whoever is harming her." Carlisle's eyes softened as he looked at me. I recognized his warm smile to be a fatherly response to my pain and my confliction. Carlisle truly was a father to me, or as close as anyone could come to it. I had finally discovered which part of me was the more dominant part. No, I would never willingly hurt her, if I could help it.

_You barely know her, and yet, she already means a lot to you, doesn't she? _I simply nodded in response, not entirely sure how I could vocalize my feelings. I had never felt this way before. There were very few things I came across in my life that I didn't understand, and my ignorance was infuriating me.

"Then I'll let you handle this, Edward. She's going to be leaving any moment, and I'm sure there is something you'd like to say to her. Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine. I just won't breathe – it's not like it's really that necessary, anyway."

**BPOV**

"Thank you, again, for helping me." I felt nervous as I walked through the hallways of the hospital, standing next to a statue of perfection. Being near him made me slightly more aware of just how haggard I had become since my time with Richard. Shame filled me as we walked I silence before reaching the laundry room. I walked with my head bowed, and my hands lying limply at my sides, defeated.

"Wow." I was amazed to see that every article of clothing, every single basket full of laundry was washed, dried and neatly folded in piles.

"Like Carlisle said, the hospital staff felt it was the least they could do, considering all you have done for them so far." He explained, as he began to helping me place the appropriate garments in the appropriate laundry carts. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that he stopped piling clothing in the carts, and held something red in his hands.

My heart nearly stopped beating when I looked over to him, and noticed that he was holding an article of my clothing, the clothing that Richard would make me wear while entertaining his guests. An incredible sense of shame overcame me, as I wondered what this perfect creature could be thinking of me, as he held in his hands the very thing that kept me a prisoner.

"Are you volunteering to do laundry for someone else, too?" He questioned, not looking at me as he continued to pile the risqué clothing into neat piles in the cart. I could feel myself blushing now. There was absolutely no way to hide the fierce red colour that had crept up on my face, making it difficult to hide my humiliation and embarrassment.

_No. Those are mine. I don't want them to be mine, but they are. And it's not a volunteer job, because I didn't choose this. I was forced into this. And I want out. I want to taste freedom. I want to rip that red corset into a thousand pieces, and burn it, just so I'll never have to look at another reminder of how shameful I am again. _That's what I wanted to say. But I didn't.

""I… I guess you could say that…"

We continued the rest of the work in silence. I tried my best to make sure that I didn't show any signs of pain as I worked. I didn't want him to know just how painful my injuries were, or just how difficult it was for me to perform the simplest task. I appreciated his help, but his presence in the room made it incredibly difficult to concentrate, not to mention that he was holding in his hands the very clothing that evoked the most powerful sense of shame in me all while looking indifferent. It didn't take long finish, and part of me was grateful, but there was another part of me that was sad to go.

I didn't want my time with Edward to end. No matter how uncomfortable and revealing it had been. I felt safe with him and being with him, being so dazzled by his exquisite existence, allowed me to think of something other then Richard, and the life I would have to inevitably return to.

He stacked the last pile of laundry in the cart, and leaned against one of the drying machines, his eyes fixed on me. I could feel the room start spinning, and I decided that sitting was probably the best idea.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." I snapped, annoyed with his concern only because it made me feel even more connected to him, and even more indebted to him.

"You don't sound fine." A small smile crept onto his face, and again, my resolve wore down. His smile was a miracle worker, it truly was.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so… short with you. It's just been a very, very long day."

"Don't apologize. It's not everyday that someone collapses because of starvation. I'm surprised that you're still up and working. Most people take weeks to recover from something as serious as malnourishment…" His voice, although I could sense and edge to it, remained soft and low.

"I told you, I really am fine. I'm a quick healer. And I'm really my own worst enemy…"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, I just mean that I'm clumsy. Always tripping over my own feet, walking into stationary objects… you know, all of the glorious things that come with being unlucky." Again, a crooked smile crept onto his gloriously majestic face. I couldn't help but smile in response; something about his moods seemed to be contagious.

"I know that you have to leave soon, but I'd like to give you my cell phone number, in case you're ever in need of _anything_." He handed me a small piece of paper, a number and his name written on it, in an elegant and beautifully executed calligraphy. I wondered idly if he had written that himself.

"You know, I can take care of myself…" Some small iota of me wanted that to be true, it had always been in my nature to take care of myself. But I knew it was a lie. Lately, it seemed as though I couldn't accomplish even the simplest of tasks without someone else's assistance. I bit my lip frantically, as my stomach knotted and my brow furrowed. Great, more shame.

"Can I ask you something?" I wasn't sure where my sudden burst of courage was coming from, but I almost had no control over what I was saying now. The words were just spilling out of my mouth.

"Yes."

"Why do you want to help me? Why do you care?"

"I don't know, Bella Swan. But something about you… makes me feel very protective of you." And then I blinked, and he was gone.

Again, Edward Cullen managed to leave me breathless.

* * *

**A/N: If you've read it, review it! Here is the next chapter, let me know what you think - I always love hearing from readers! Also, I'm still searching for a beta, so please forgive any spelling/grammar errors!**

**Special thanks: BelleDuJour and 4theluvofmary for the their lovely reviews!**


	5. Bella Swan

_**Disclaimer: All recognizable content belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is only a work of fanfiction, and is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

**POV: **_Edward, Bella, Richard_

**Chapter 5 – Bella Swan**

* * *

_Those that can't endure the bad,  
will not live to see the good.  
-Yiddish Proverb_

* * *

**EPOV**

I was absolutely wrought with worry. My entire week seemed to revolve around my thoughts of Bella, and her safety. I wondered idly about her, and about what she could be doing, while others were audaciously living their lives, seemingly impervious to the existence of her.

She had become my world, and I was awesomely aware of the absorption that the mere thought of her commanded of me. My family was soon aware of it, too. It hadn't been long before I learned of what Alice knew, and had known for a while. She had kept it from me, and although I was angry at first, I came to understand her rationalization for doing so. She couldn't interfere with a fate so strong, it wouldn't have been right, and things could have changed were she to have told me of Bella.

I tried my very best to stay out of Carlisle's mind whenever possible. He often, out of his own worry for the girl, replayed the images of her battered body in his mind. It was painful to see her in such a state, and it was beginning to feed a deep hatred within me. He was also careful to not think of it around me, but it sometimes slipped his mind. Carlisle was fallible, as we all are, and I couldn't begrudge him for that, especially since he was the most supportive of me right now.

Alice was understanding, and supported me as much as she could. However, she knew of the danger that trying to save Bella would bring, and it made her fearful. She also saw the great joy Bella would bring me, warming her more to the idea of saving her. Her visions of Bella didn't allow her to see much, only that she and I belonged together, and that she was suffering at the hands of someone else.

Jasper looked at the situation from an entirely logical standpoint: saving Bella was dangerous. Saving Bella, a human, and one that I had such an uncontrollable bloodlust for, was something that put me a great risk. Emmett seemed, in his thoughts, to be wholly indifferent to the situation, but as always he sided with Rosalie. And Rosalie was the most hostile of all of my family members.

"She's a human, Edward. Consorting with humans will only result in trouble for you and for this family. And you barely know her, how can you claim to _need_ to protect someone you've only met once?" Rose was seething as she stood on the other side of the room, surrounded by our entire family, growling at me in a low, threatening voice.

"You're devoid of emotion, Rosalie. Which is why I don't expect you to understand." I recognized the hostility and sting of my words, but there was no other logical way to defend myself. I couldn't honestly answer her question, for I didn't completely comprehend it myself, either. My overwhelming need to protect Bella, and the connection I felt to her didn't warrant explanation. It was an intrinsic feeling that I couldn't deny.

"You're pathetic, Edward. We've watched you brood for decades, and now we'll watch you do it again, only this time, your obsession isn't just annoying, it's _dangerous_." The hostility in her was teeming, tumultuous. I didn't even bother to try to read what was in her mind, for I knew that it would be far too complex to decipher, especially through my own rage.

"That's quite enough, Rose." It was Carlisle that spoke this time, and I was thankful for his intervention.

"Apparently it's not. He's still going to go through with this. He's still going to try to _save_ her! And he doesn't even know what he's saving her from. She could have chosen this lifestyle, Carlisle. We could be involving ourselves in a pointless crusade."

"Honestly, Rosalie. I expected better of you" Esme's soft voice interjected, but even through her disappointment, she remained gentle.

"You know as well as anyone else that nobody willingly chooses to be harmed in such a horrific way. You're right in saying that we don't know this girl, but what we do know, and what I'm sure of is that nobody chooses to be hurt so violently. Nobody chooses that type of degradation. It was clear to me when I met her that she is in pain. This life is not something she chose, that much we do know of her." Carlisle walked to Esme's side, and gently placed his pale white hand on her shoulder, pulling her closer to his side.

"So you're all going to agree to this? You're all going to help him go through with this?" At this point, Rosalie was irate. She threw a warning glance in the direction of Emmett, and this time, I did hear her thoughts.

_He'd better not agree to this, or the consequence for him will mean dealing with me! _It was very much apart of Rosalie's nature to control the one she was with. She felt she had a divine right to choosing her partner's path. And Emmett, eager to please her, would do exactly as he was told.

"Yes, Rose. We are. We may not fully understand the situation, but we know Edward, and we understand him. And we've never stood by to watch someone be hurt" Alice chimed in, staring in my direction and smiling slightly.

"Alice is right, Rose. This isn't just about Edward. It's about doing what we know is right. We live the way we do because we choose not to subject humans to pain, this situation is no different."

And with that, it appeared the conversation was over and my family's intentions were clear.

* * *

We weren't certain of the details yet, or the exact workings of the plan. But we had all agreed that it began with figuring out where Bella actually lived, and hopefully, as a result, who was controlling her. Once we figured that much out, it wouldn't be difficult to devise a plan to help her out of whatever situation she was in.

Carlisle had decided to start with the hospital, to hopefully draw a connection there.

"Anything?" I asked, as Carlisle walked through the door. I wasn't able to get a good read on his thoughts, because he was currently trying to work through the finer details of quantum physics, no doubt to stop me from reading his mind .

"No, nothing. Apparently the person organizing their volunteer work asked to remain nameless. It appears though, that they work in rotations. The same person isn't sent every week." He made no attempt to hide his disappointment. I knew that he only spoke aloud for the benefit of the rest of my family, who all seemed to look discouraged as well, although, none as genuinely as Alice and Carlisle.

"We know her location though, right Edward? She said that she lives in Seattle. So it isn't as though we don't have anything to go on. We can start with that…" Alice's tone was hopeful, although I knew from her thoughts that she wasn't able to see anything clear in Bella's near future, or my own. It appeared that our indecision was leaving Alice's talent useless.

"Seattle isn't like Forks, Alice. It's not exactly a small town." _And you're never going to be able to pull this off unscathed anyway, Edward. Just give it up already. _I wished Rosalie would just leave the room, so I didn't have to process her shouting at me through her thoughts. And really, for a lady, she did have some quite unutterable thoughts.

"Do we have anything else to go on? Did she say anything else of use to either of you?" Esme questioned, arranging a large, colourful bouquet of flowers as she spoke.

_Oh, I only hope this doesn't end badly for Edward. _Typical Esme, concerned with the welfare of others, even before herself.

"Not really. We know her age, a general location and her first and last name…" and before I could finish, it hit me. Her clothing. The personal articles of clothing she had brought to be washed were surely and indication of something. They had to be.

"What is it, Edward?" Carlisle questioned, obviously noting the change in my demeanour.

"Yes, Edward. That must account for something. We can use that!" Alice squealed excitedly.

"Do the clairvoyant, mind reading freaks feel like sharing with the rest of us?" Emmett joked with a lightness and casualness to his tone. No matter how grave the situation was, Emmett always managed to remain apathetic, but strangely invested. And this situation was no different.

"Just before she left the hospital, I was helping her finish the laundry, and helping her gather her own clothing she had brought with her to be washed. I noticed a few rather… revealing articles of clothing…-"

"So now she's a provocatively dressed damsel in distress? She sounds more pathetic every minute." Rosalie said, laughter evident in her voice. My immediate response was shocking, even to myself. I instantaneously let a loud, feral snarl escape me, as my hands tensed into rigid claw-like formations, my knees bent slightly in a defensive crouch.

Without hesitation, Emmett was at my side, yanking me violently from the room.

"What the hell is wrong with you, man?" He questioned, shaking me slightly.

"I don't know. I really don't know." The seriousness of my reaction didn't fail to escape me now that I was removed from the situation.

"What's gotten into you? You and Rose argue all the time, but you've haven't tried to take a lunge at her in a few years…"

"I don't know, Emmett. I don't know what it is about this girl, this human. The way I feel about her isn't even logical. I can't rationalize it. There are very few things I can't make sense of. But this is one of them." I realized how desperate I must have looked to Emmett. My eyes were coal black, and the purplish rings around them had darkened severely. My head was in my hands, and my body was slumped against the wall.

There was a heavy silence between us for a long time. And I could hear the rest of my family stirring in the room next door. I could tell that Rosalie was angry, and if anyone could hold a grudge, she could.

Saving Bella was already proving to be difficult.

* * *

**BPOV**

"Will you quit your whinin' already? We all been there, and we all just shut our mouths and deal. You'd do well to just do the same, girl." Helen's voice was full of disdain, as she clumsily hurried around the room, preparing herself for the day's duties.

"Helen, really, just leave Bella alone. If we'd wanted your opinion, we would have asked for it" Matilda snapped at her, continuing to run the cold cloth in soothing circles on my back.

"She'll toughen up soon, once she reaches four months, she know what this life is really like, and she'll realize she actually had nothin' to gripe about right now." Helen carried a small towel in her hand, as she made her way into the washroom, not bothering to cover herself up. Apparently she had no shame, and I envied that, for I seemed to be ruled by my shame these days.

It was an overwhelming emotion, that constantly had me bowing my head, quivering from the inside out. It was the feeling that closed me off from the world, and made even the brightest of days dark and dreary. I was tired, and sore, but those emotions couldn't even begin to compare to how ruled I was by the shame of the situation, the shame of myself.

"Oh, don't listen to her, Bella. Really, don't. She's miserable. She's been here for five years, and I guess that being here for that long really starts to wear you down. She doesn't mean to be harsh. I think, in her mind, she believes she's doing you a favour." Matilda's voice, soft and casual, was the most soothing sound I had heard in days.

I lay on my cot, and allowed myself to be completely overtaken by my quiet sobs. It appeared that the more I thought of my life here, the less comforting Matilda's presence became. Although I appreciated her maternal instincts to protect and comfort me, she couldn't give me the one thing I wanted, and needed the most. She couldn't give me my freedom.

I had endured an entire week of chore duty, and although the bruises that plagued my sickly pale complexion were fading, the pain in my body was only growing worse. Each day of work brought new sensations of pain. I was at the point where I was sure I had exceeded my threshold of tolerance, and I knew that at some point, my protesting body would eventually quit on me.

Still, I couldn't help but feel grateful that my work was not instead in the form of entertaining one of Richard's many guests. I would rather endure a thousand more beatings then be forced to bring myself to that level.

_How far would I go to survive? _I wondered as Matilda continued to rub smooth circles over my back.

"You know, Bella, when things are… hard… for me, I try to think of my happiest memory. I recall it as vividly as I can, and then I hang onto it with every ounce of strength I have, and just bask in it. You should try it. What is the last happy memory you have?" Her voice remained even in tempo, although she had stopped rubbing my back, and instead idly ran her fingers through the knots that had formed in my dark tresses.

I thought about her question for a long time. The silence between us wasn't uncomfortable, however, for we both knew what the other was feeling, even through the silence. Although I thought for a long time, the answer immediately came into my head as she asked me the question.

_Edward Cullen. _He ruled my thoughts lately. There was something about him, something strange, but alluring at the very same time. He appeared to be hiding something, and it seemed as though he rejected the idea of opening up to anyone but his family.

Although my days were lately spent in a dizzy haze, that day was flawlessly captured in my mind, impossible to forget.

It was difficult to forget perfection. I remembered flawlessly graceful and lithe movements, as well as untidy copper brown hair, and strikingly piercing caramel-coloured eyes. He captured my attention, even in my memories of him.

I also remembered the more peculiar aspects of him as well, and admittedly, these parts had also held my curiosity. His ice cold skin, and stone-hard body. And the way in which he knew details of my conversation with Carlisle that neither Carlisle nor I would have had the opportunity to disclose. His interactions with his father were strange, too. They seemed to silently always have a conversation going on, one that I was blissfully unaware of until one of them made a slight gesture, alerting me immediately.

I sighed at my memory of him. Thinking of him was one of the things that managed to keep me sane. My time was occupied with thoughts of him, as I desperately tried to understand why he would want to help me, a person he knew nothing of. A very plain and ordinary girl. Clearly this man, this god, could command the attention of any woman he pleased, and yet, he focused his interest on me.

"Bella?" I was awakened from my revelry by Matilda. I realized I hadn't answered her question.

"I don't know…" I said simply, knowing that my encounter with the Cullen's was not something I could share with anyone, even the people I trusted the most.

"It's almost five o'clock, Bella. Someone will be in shortly to give us our assignments… you should probably get ready. Did you want some help?"

I nodded solemnly; ready, but unwilling, to face another day.

* * *

**RPOV (Richard's POV)**

"Ah, Bella, you're looking well today." The girl looked like absolute shit. In fact, I was quite fond of her new look, it made her seem so meek and subservient. It was about time that her strong bravado wore off. I liked the feistiness at first, but now, now she was just a nuisance. Her novelty had worn off.

"Thank you… _sir_" The disgust in her soft voice was unmistakeable. I normally wouldn't have condoned such ignorance in my presence, but I knew the girl couldn't handle another beating. She already looked like her body was going to disassemble itself and fall to pieces any minute. I couldn't afford to have another girl out of commission. Especially not one that gave me such great business.

For some reason, all of my customers like watching her dance. They said there was something oddly angelic about her pale white skin, and dancing brown eyes. I didn't see it, but what did I care? She was a source of money, and I was only too willing to exploit that.

I was almost tempted to change my own rules, and allow Bella to work the private rooms a few months early. But I decided against it, only because I knew the longer the eager customers had to wait, the more willing they would be to pay top dollar for her. I told the girls I did it because I needed to know I could trust them – but that wasn't it at all. I knew I couldn't trust them.

Humans are volatile. Ruled by their emotions, distracted by impulses. You can never trust anyone, especially females. They change their minds quickly, too quickly to even register the reason. I did know, however, that none of them would dare cross me. They had each, at one point or another learned the consequences of disobedience and disobeying my rules. And I doubted any of them were eager to revisit the weeks of chore duty and pain that followed any lapse in judgement of their behalf. And the fact that girls periodically went missing also kept them alert and intimidated.

I marvelled at the world I had created, and the business I built from the ground up, in an attempt to blend in better with the rest of society. I immersed myself in an unfamiliar world, and found myself pleasantly surprised at how fulfilling it could be.

My work started off innocently enough, just as a bar that I nicknamed The Manor, because of how eerily reminiscent of a horror movie setting it was. Business was good enough, but I knew it could be better. I needed to attract more clientele, and I had an idea of how to do it. I started hiring dancers, at first the dancing was innocent, and they kept their clothes on, but after a while, I knew my customers grew bored with seeing half naked women dancing on a pole. They needed more, so I delivered.

It was then that I noticed the fondness my customers seemed to have for certain girls. I was propositioned, on many occasions with large amounts of cash if I was willing to allow my girls to be 'borrowed' by these men, used for sex and then discarded back to me. Environmentally friendly recycling, I liked to think of it as.

I disagreed at first, knowing that the girls I hired would never go for it. I knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to find women willing to work for me in this kind of establishment, given how illegal it was, and given how treacherous and violent it could be.

And then I had an idea. I wouldn't give the girls a choice. I would take lost, vulnerable women, and force them to work for me, keeping them faithful and loyal to me through the threat of death and punishment. Forcing people to do what I wanted had never been difficult for me.

It had worked for the past 28 years, and I imagined that my perfectly constructed plan would continue to function flawlessly, just as it always had.

I remembered the night I had found Bella Swan perfectly.

_A heavy rain was falling in Seattle, as the evening wound down, and a distinct chill settled itself in the air. I had been out for drinks, a business meeting with a particularly well-paying client. _

_That's when I noticed her. She was sitting on a wooden bench, shivering in the rain, completely drenched from head to toe. I noted the large black suitcase that lay on its side, clearly disregarded as it lay in the depths of a puddle next to her. Her eyes had a distinctly distant look in them, emptiness. _

_She was perfect. Distraught, distracted and evidently in pain. A perfect target. Of course, I hadn't planned to go recruiting tonight, but I was a girl down, and this opportunity seemed too good to pass up. _

_I pulled my car up next to the curb, and rolled my window down slightly, poking my head out the window. With the window down, the natural perfumes of the night crept into my car, mixed with a new, and wonderfully pleasant smell. _

"_Excuse me, Miss. But are you alright?" I put on the most endearing and sincere voice I could manage, and smiled politely in her direction. She didn't lift her head to acknowledge me, or look at me. It would be even easier then I thought to take her. _

_When I stepped out of the car, she stirred slightly, but still didn't look at me. Her eyes remained averted, gazing off into the distance. She had been crying. Even through the thick sheets of rain that were falling, it was difficult to miss the distinct red colour that rimmed her eyes. _

"_Miss, is there anything I can do to help you? Another bus won't be by until morning. But I would be happy to drive you into Tacoma so you could catch a bus there. It's on my way anyway." I raised my voice slightly, just to be sure that she could hear me through the sounds of the thunder and lightening. _

_Still, no response. Okay, this would be much easier then I would have thought. I slowly crept back to my car, and reached into the glove compartment, pulling out a small bottle of chloroform and an old rag. _

_She was mine. _

_I threw her in the back seat, but decided I'd better not leave her suitcase there, just in case I had managed to choose a girl that would actually be missed by someone. Leaving no evidence was crucial to my plan. _

_Yes, I would take her suitcase along as well. _

_In the reflection of my rear view mirror, I noticed that she was clutching a small piece of yellow paper, folded in half and protected from the rain by the confines of her delicate hand. _

_Curiosity getting the better of me, I pried the paper from her hand, and read it. _

_It was a newspaper article. The picture featured a picture of the young girl that was in my back seat, along with a woman that resembled her exactly and a smiling man. Upon reading the article, I learned that both of the parents of this girl were now dead. Her father, Charlie, had died in a car accident on his way to a fishing trip, and her mother had passed away four months earlier, murdered by a ruthless human disease the article referred to as 'cancer'. The article went on to extend its sincerest condolences to Bella Swan, and even mentioned somewhere that she had no living relatives, aside from a stepfather named Phil._

_Taking Bella Swan was easier then I had imagined it would be. _

* * *

**BPOV**

"Oh Bella, before you start your chore duty today, there's something I'd like to talk to you about." I could hear the easy satisfaction in Richard's voice. He was pleased with himself about something, and I was sure I didn't want to know what it was.

"Yes, sir." I nodded at him, and stood against the wall, as he always asked us to when he addressed us in our chambers.

"The rest of you may leave, and make quick work of it, won't you? Bella has a full day ahead of her, and I wouldn't want to occupy her time for too long." I could hear the pace of the girls pick up around me. They had moved from a brisk walk, into a near sprint as soon as he had spoken those words. It never failed to amaze me that one person could have so much power over people.

I guess the fear of unrelenting beatings and possible death did that to people. Myself included. Richard walked in a semi-circle around me, slowly pacing back and forth, moving closer and closer toward me as he walked. I kept my heels against the wall, and pulled my back as straight as it would go without aggravating my sore and tired body. My arms were stiff at my sides, and my hands were clenched into fists in an attempt to curb the pain. I looked straight ahead, but my peripheral vision allowed me to see a small piece of yellow, weathered looking paper in Richard's hands. I wondered what it could be, and if it pertained to what he wanted to discuss with me.

"I have something of yours, that I figured you'd like me to return to you. Just as a reminder of why you need me, why you'll _never _be able to leave." Suddenly, his hand was around my throat, he tightened his grasp, and then released it, keeping his hand in place. I heard a small sound as the paper he held in his other hand dropped to the floor. He released my throat, slamming my body against the wall. I didn't have enough fight in me to remain standing, as my body slumped to the floor.

He stood over me, a small smile playing on his face.

I gave myself a moment to recover before looking at what he had dropped in front of me. I very much regretted my decision to look at the piece of paper, but it was too late to change that now.

I began to unfold it carefully, and I was afraid that any sudden movement would rip the worn piece of paper in half. On it was a faded picture of three people: Charlie, Renee and me. Below it, was an article discussing the details of my parents death, reiterating just how alone I was in the world without them. Richard had been right, I truly was alone.

And that was as much as I could handle. Forget reaching my threshold of pain. I had reached my threshold of tolerance – I could no longer temper my anger. Everything from the past two months came flooding back in the most overwhelming way. The degradation, the loss, the sleepless nights, the hardship, the beatings, the punishments, the shame and the humiliation all clouded my mind, leaving me without the best sense of reason. The physical pain didn't matter at this point, for something of greater power was in control of me now, vicariously living through me.

I hadn't had time to grieve the loss of either of my parents. Shortly after Renee's death, I moved to Seattle to live with Charlie, and a few short months later, Charlie died. Two days after Charlie's death, I was kidnapped, and forced into this life. Where was the justice? Now I was forced to be everything I was not: a prisoner, compliant, obedient, meek, pleasing… I was forced to conform to somebody else's idea of me. And I was tired of it. So I lost control.

I pulled myself from the dirty concrete floor, and lunged myself at Richard with every last bit of strength I had. I could feel the pain, it was ripping into me, overwhelming me and overtaking me, but I didn't care, I couldn't process anything but my anger and rage.

It didn't take long for Richard to re-gain control over me. I was frail and weak, and I doubted my attack even caused him any pain. One minute, I was trying to dig my nails into his stone-like face, and the next, he was standing over me, my head throbbing, and my body back where I started, on a concrete floor. He moved incredibly fast, making quick work of disabling my futile attempt to attack him. And his cold hands were suddenly on my skin, viciously ravaging me.

And the look in his eyes told me that this, by far, would be the most painful punishment I would _ever_ experience.

* * *

_She was standing there, by the broken tree  
Her hands were all twisted, she was pointing at me  
I was damned by the light coming out of her eyes  
She spoke with a voice that disrupted the sky  
She said ' Come on over to the bitter shade,  
I will wrap you in my arms and you'll know you've been saved'_

**EPOV**

I sat at the piano and allowed my hands to deftly play the notes that were most instinctive, a new composition beginning to come to formation as I played. The piano was the one thing that wasn't predictable in my life. Sure, the notes were always in the same location, but the possibilities and combinations were endless. Never boring, never dull, never the same. It was magnificent. It was my release.

My playing was interrupted by sounds of chaos, the incoherent and desperate thoughts of one of my family members that was upstairs. It took me a moment to recognize whose thoughts I was hearing, but I could hear the familiar rationalizing that so often belonged in Alice's thoughts, and I knew it was her. I hadn't been attentively or purposely listening to anyone, only because I wanted a moment to focus, a single moment in time that belonged only to me.

I regretted my decision to drown out my family's voices immediately, because I had a good feeling that Alice's vision was containing something very important, about someone that was very important to me. I heard her quick, light steps racing down the stairs, and in a matter of seconds, she was standing in front of me. Her eyes were wide with uncertainty and worry, and her brows furrowed in a signature look that usually meant something wasn't right.

"Alice…?"

"It's Bella, Edward. He's angry, and he's hurting her. She needs you now more then ever. Her future is hazy – I can't see the outcome of his rage… or it's affect on her. I only know that she needs you. And Edward, I know he'll be able to put up a better fight then any _human_ ever could."

I searched Alice's mind, and saw her vision. And if I had a heart, I was sure it was breaking.

* * *

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I know it might seem like it's taking a while for things to get into motion, but the lead up to the next chapter was really important. And the next chapter is where the plot really starts to unfold.**

**Send me a review to let me know what you thought of this chapter - I'm excited to hear what you all thought of Richard's POV (which was a tough POV to do!)**

**Thanks to:**

**cinnyshy - wait and see, all of your questions will be answered within the next two chapters! Thanks for the lovely review and the endless questions =)  
Jaycie - I'm glad you're enjoying it, and thanks for the wonderful compliment - it made my day!  
BelleDuJour - No, it's definitely not wrong of you to swoon, because I'm doing the very same! Keep reading, and you'll soon see how the situation with Richard [Dick] progresses. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Keep 'em coming, and I'll keep the chapters coming.**


	6. Reality Bites

**_Disclaimer: All recognizable content belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is only a work of fanfiction, and is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended._**

*_Please note: This chapter contains mature themes, and may not be suitable for younger or more sensitive readers. However, nothing is described graphically, only implied._

**POV: **_Bella, Edward, Richard_

**Chapter 6 – Reality Bites**

* * *

"_Fall seven times, stand up eight"  
__-Japanese proverb_

* * *

**BPOV**

Was this real? And if it was, was I prepared to face the consequences of it? I wasn't sure. My mind was fluttering between two worlds, struggling to determine which was reality, and which was merely an afterthought of the nightmare I just had. When I opened my eyes, my question was promptly answered for me. There was nothing left to ponder, it was clear to me now that what I feared to be a nightmare, was actually my reality.

I didn't know what I should feel, or how I should feel. My mind was a blurry haze still trying to focus in on certain details of my surroundings, but failing to capture amount of detail. Still, I knew where I was – there was no mistaking this room. It had been the stage for the most horrific night of my existence… so far.

I felt the surface I was lying on shift, realizing that someone was next to me, and that I was lying in a bed. I shivered, my throat tightening at the thought of who could be next to me, and what the purpose of the bed was.

_Why are you wondering, Bella? You already know what happened. Stop trying to pretend you don't. _

I was such a horrible liar that I couldn't even manage to lie to myself. That was pitiful. Yes, I did know who was beside me, and I did know what the purpose of the bed had been. Still, I felt as though my whole body was going to crumble to pieces if I didn't try to convince myself otherwise. I couldn't accept what had happened, not yet. I had to fight it, to keep myself functioning. I could fall apart later. I would have plenty of time for that, and if I didn't would that really be such a tradgedy?

A cold and menacing voice broke through the stifling silence of the room.

"Good evening, Bella. Alive and well, I see." It wasn't a question. He didn't care if I was well, just that I was attentive now. I was suddenly aware of the fact that he said evening, and not morning. That must have meant that he wasn't… finished.

My stomach constricting into what felt like thousands of tiny knots at the thought. I clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth, clutching onto the blanket that was draped over me with such desperation, that I felt as though it would crumble to dust under my grip. My heart hammered in my chest, as my eyes locked onto the shapes and patterns of the ceiling in fear.

"Ta ta ta. Someone is _nervous_." Sick approval was twisted in his voice, mixed with a familiar sound of satisfaction.

I couldn't remember what happened. Well, I could remember. But only bits and pieces. Small moments here and there, a great deal of pain, pleading, crying, laughing. It wasn't difficult to determine which emotions had come from whom. Although I couldn't fully remember what happened, I had a vague idea, and a vague idea was more then enough to leave me feeling ill with pain. The kind of pain that settles throughout your body, coursing a cold dread through your veins, pounding in your head, gripping your heart. This kind of pain was something I wasn't accustomed to. It was more intense then I had ever thought imaginable. Even after the death of my parents, and being abducted by Richard, I had never felt this… empty before.

"You know, you weren't a disappointment, Bella. You responded exactly as I knew you would. However, I was a bit shocked at your… courage. You cried out, but I never saw a single tear, and never once did you bargain with me. Most girls bargain, saying I can have anything if I _just make the pain stop_. But not you… curious that you should be so strong, when you've lost so much. You people are so fascinating to observe."

He kept talking. But once he started describing the painful details what he had put me through, I stopped listening.

I searched my mind for something to think of. I couldn't find anything. I was too overcome with an immense amount of shame to allow anything of substance to permeate my mind. Immediately, I thought of my mother, sweet Renee. But I banished her from my thoughts, just as I had Charlie, when I realized that this was something I never wanted them to know or understand about me. My mind wandered through familiar faces throughout my childhood, each too painful to linger on. And then, my mind halted when I saw the face of an angel. Edward.

But I didn't want him here with me. I didn't want him in my thoughts. I wanted him nowhere near the wreckage of this night, nowhere near what I had become. I wanted to be alone, to crawl into the deepest and darkest corner in the most sheltered and forgotten place in the world… to allow myself to slowly fade into the nothingness. There was nothing more I wanted then to be swept away by the cool breeze that flowed through the open window.

It wasn't long before a pair of horrifyingly cold hands were on my skin again, running up and down my body, gently at first, but then with more force, pain ripping me from my fantasies.

And it started again.

* * *

**EPOV**

"Can't you drive any faster?"

"If I could, don't you think I would?"

"I know – I'm sorry."

"How much further, Alice?"

"We're almost in Seattle, and from there, I have to rely on my memory of the exterior of the building to find her. Just remember that the name is The Manor. It'll be tucked away from everything else, hidden."

Silence filled the car. I could only hear the soft purr of the engine, speeding with ease down the dark, empty freeway. I tried not to dwell too much on the thoughts Alice was having. Nothing good was coming of listening to her; she didn't have much hope for the situation.

I did. I had to.

I glanced quickly in the mirror, and noticed the bright red convertible that trailed closely behind us. My family would wait just outside The Manor, while Alice, Jasper and I went for Bella, and if we needed assistance, they would be close enough to assist us. I hadn't wanted any of their help. I could do this alone, of that much I was sure. No matter what he was. But Alice insisted that I would never find the place on my own, and that I would need her help. And of course, Jasper wouldn't allow her to go without him.

Carlisle had respected my wishes, against his better judgement. But argued that he would come, because Alice had mentioned that Bella might need some medical attention. Esme joined Carlisle, for obvious reasons, and Emmett tagged along hoping a fight would ensue – one that would require his expertise. And of course, if Emmett went, Rosalie came along as well.

I looked at Alice expectantly. She knew what I wanted to know.

"No, I can't see anything more. It's like, for some reason, parts of it are missing. I can see Bella hurt, but I can only see the briefest flashes of the person that hurts her. And then there are huge gaps in time and a lot of it feels… uncertain." Alice sounded apologetic, helpless. There was a strangled haste to her words, as she spoke in a hushed voice, hoping that if she said it quietly, it wouldn't be true.

"It's not your fault. You're doing all you can." She looked at me softly, and understanding in her eyes that told me she finally fully comprehended the magnitude of my feelings for this girl. She might not be able to explain why, but she understood, and that was enough.

"Do we have a plan of action to carry out once we arrive?" It was the first time Jasper had spoken the entire car ride. His voice was strong, confident, and in great contrast with Alice's and my own.

"Yes."

"Care to share, Edward?"

"It's simple. I'm going to _kill_ him."

* * *

**BPOV**

I tried to listen to the soft noises of the night that surrounded me, to focus on them and put all of my attention into identifying them. I could hear the whispers of the breeze outside, the soft humming of car engines, the occasional siren or horn blowing. All of these noises, once thought to be a nuisance, were now where I sought refuge from this night, this cold, cruel night.

M body was quaking as it shivered. A deep chill had settled into me, seeping into my bones, overtaking me. The cold was in disparity with the sporadic bursts of heat I felt in various places – places where there were injuries or bruises.

It was so painful, because it reminded me so much of him – so much of his body, the cold granite-like feeling of his skin, the miraculously soft but hard texture of his entire body. It left me feeling ill, shaking even more violently. It was oddly familiar, and in a very strange way, oddly comforting – circumstances aside.

And then I remembered in a sudden burst of understanding. The absurdly white walls, the pale, pallid bed sheets, the pain, the comfort, the refuge, the feeling of safety, the sterile smell that encompassed my every sense – the hospital and Dr. Cullen. His skin had been of the exact same texture and roughly the same temperature. It would be impossible to forget such a striking detail about a person. I knew both Edward and Dr. Cullen were somehow different from the moment I met them, but I didn't understand how these two otherworldly creatures could share anything in common with the monster that was slowly destroying me.

My heart was thumping loudly in my chest, and my thoughts were racing. Had the sense of comfort and assuredness I felt Edward and Dr. Cullen been all for nought? Had they actually had some association with Richard?

_They can't, Bella! There must be another explanation. The similarities must be coincidental, or unrelated to one another. _

I wasn't sure if I could fully accept that idea, yet. But I didn't think I could take anymore heartbreak, and I didn't think I could take anymore pain. So, for now, the lie would have to do, because the lie was what would keep me going.

Sometimes, when all seems lost, people hold onto the smallest glimmer of hope to keep them alive, and in this case, I kept holding onto the hope brewing within me – the part of myself that wished Edward would save me, and that this nightmare would end.

* * *

How much time had passed? I couldn't keep track anymore.

And I wished the dripping noise would stop. I could hear the drops of water pang against the side of the metal bucket in varying paces, capturing the rain leaking from the roof. I was certain it would drive me insane. And if it didn't, I could conjure up a list of a thousand other things that would.

I shifted uncomfortably in the cot, trying my hardest to find a comfortable position. That was nearly impossible**. **It felt as if my entire body was bruised from head to toe. I realized that sleep was probably far off, and likely wouldn't grace me with its presence tonight.

No, I wouldn't rest tonight, even though my body yearned for a moment of respite – a moment of peace, even if it was superficial and subconscious. I needed an escape, and normally, sleep was my escape. But tonight, I wouldn't sleep.

Tonight, the pain was far too vivid and overwhelming. I tried not to focus on it. Like trying not to stare at a massive elephant in an otherwise empty room. In short, it was impossible.

I began to hum to myself, an unfamiliar but soothing tune. A lullaby. I hummed quietly to myself for what seemed like hours, but was surely minutes before stopping. A wave of fatigue washed over me, and although I wouldn't sleep, I didn't have the energy left to do much else, either. But even in the absence of my voice, the humming continued. The same lullaby, only in a softer, more magical voice. I wasn't alone.

I looked around me, and my eyes locked on, yet again, the most beautiful face I had ever seen. And I don't know why, but as soon as I looked into his eyes, I knew he was going to _save me._

I didn't know if I was dreaming, and I wasn't sure if any of this was real. I felt dizzy and light-headed as a haze began to cloud my eyes; I wasn't sure if I was falling asleep, or if my body doing what I had refused to do for so long: give up.

* * *

**RichardPOV**

I had wanted to wait. I had been so patient this time around, so careful in my planning, so as to assure the timing would be absolutely perfect when I chose to make my move. But when she lunged at me, I lost all self-control, and I could no longer contain my eagerness, I could no longer deny myself what I wanted and _needed_.

And I needed that sweet, adorable little Bella. Her body was absolutely exquisite. She had long, lean legs, and the most tender and milky white skin possible on one of her kind. Running my fingers along her body was the most satisfying experience I had felt in a long time –

'Knock, knock'

_Great, another interruption. _The last thing I wanted right now was someone interrupting my very pleasant and very vivid recollection of the night's events.

"Yes, yes, you may come in, Mikey"

"Sorry, didn't mean to disturb 'ya…"

"It's fine. Now, what do you want?"

"I'm just wonderin'… well, I'm keepin' an eye on the girl, like 'ya asked – well… did 'ya want me to bring her back to her room tonight… are 'ya finished with her yet?" It truly was a comical site to see a man of Mikey's size stumble so awkwardly over the simplest of words. He had never been the most intelligent man, but watching him in my presence truly brought that fact to light.

"No, Mikey. Not this one." I saw his face drop, and his eyes dart wildly from side to side. I could see a small bead of sweat begin to form on his crinkled forehead, as he wrung his hands together in a nervous gesture.

"Well, is there anythin' you going to be needing my help with?" I laughed wildly, letting my head fall back and my mouth hang open as I allowed the laughter to soar through me. I was sure Mikey caught the distinct glint of the light reflecting off my exceptionally white teeth – and I knew the site intimidated him.

"No, I don't believe you can provide the kind of help I would need. And even if you could, I want Bella Swan's blood all to myself, and I don't plan on sharing."

* * *

**EPOV**

I could hear Alice yelling to my left, and Carlisle clamly coaxing me on the opposite side, as they continued on in their own battle. But it was as if, in that moment, they didn't exist. It didn't matter what they said, or how loudly they shouted at me, or how fiercely they pleaded with me, they would have to kill me to stop me, now.

The image of _him _hovering over her body, his razor sharp teeth glinting in the light had awakened in me a monster. A monster hell-bent on revenge, a monster hell-bent on murder. I was so distracted that I hadn't noticed as my family, one by one, battled their own opponent, with very little difficulty. Immediately, Carlisle, however, had ran to Bella's side, as Esme managed to take care of anyone that tried to intervene.

The entire time, I couldn't get the image of Bella out of my head, lying lifelessly in the deep crimson coloured bed, looking resigned, and frighteningly worn. Her eyes were lifeless, and not even a remote expression of fear played on her face, despite the situation that she was in.

And that was all I needed.

I watched as the man they called Richard flawlessly danced around the maze of the room, beginning slowly to circle around me. I knew what he was doing – he was scoping out my vulnerabilities, and right now, I had many. I was so completely distracted, by Alice, Carlisle, the rest of my family, and most importantly, by Bella that it was difficult to focus on all at once. Vampire or no, my concentration wasn't that astute.

I crouched, allowing my body to lower to the ground, and my arms to drop at my side, my hands flexed in a claw-like formation. My teeth were bared, and my throat was emitting low, warning snarls. Richard wasn't fazed, as his own position much reflected mine.

I began circling around him, my eyes locked on his every moment, studying him, looking for a weakness. Our fight had been well-matched to this point, both of us cause and receptor of many nasty lunges. However, we both stood, our strength, speed and agility too well matched to rely solely on brute strength to give us an advantage.

And just as I noticed a chink in his armour, I was enraptured by the sound of Jasper roaring, and the sound of a loud crash coming from behind me, and I realized in searching through the thoughts around me that Alice had been taken down. I couldn't yet ascertain through thoughts just how badly she had been injured, though.

"Edward! Edward, STOP!" I could hear several people yelling at me all at once, both in their thoughts, and aloud with their words. But I couldn't stop, not yet, not when I was so close.

"Edward, if we don't get out of here now, both Alice and Bella could be in danger. Bella needs medical attention, and Alice is outnumbered – let's go!" I couldn't understand when more of our kind, Richard's obvious allies had shown up. At first it had just been mortals my family were fighting off, then suddenly, as if all at once, a rush of immortals flooded the room, overwhelming us.

In a moment of distraction, I lunged at Richard, sending his lithe body across the room with one kick. I ran to Bella's side, and made to pull the covers from her body when I realized that she wore nothing underneath the covers – my stomach twisted uncomfortably, as I experienced that painful sensation of what felt like thousands of knives digging into my insides. I tightly, but gently wrapped the blanket around her pale frame, pulling her lifeless body into my arms.

"This isn't over! She is MINE!" I could hear the continuous roar of Richard as we left the building, and made toward our vehicles.

And I knew that he meant what he said. But I also knew it didn't really matter, because as long as Bella was with me, I would do whatever it took to keep her safe.

* * *

**EPOV**

The absurdity of the situation didn't escape me, despite the preconceived notions my entire family shared regarding my rational thinking. But more imperative in my mind was the difficulty I was facing in battling my own primitive instincts – my desire for the blood of the barely-alive girl lying helpless in the very next room of my own home. The very girl I was that was claiming my heart, and testing my strength in every possible way.

Blood. _Her_ blood. The intoxicating aroma was wholly impossible to mistake, even from this proximity. It was as if the scent was binding itself to my very core, and tangling inside me, fusing to every part of me. I could hear the too-faint sound of the blood coursing through her veins, and instinctively, my hands became rigid, and my body stilled. I knew this feeling in the most intimate of ways, it was the feeling I experienced preceding a hunt, and consequently, a kill.

But another, more dominant part of me, was wrestling with every instinct I had. This part of me looked at the girl and weighed the importance of her life, and her importance to me. This part saw the value in each and every breath she took, and this part saw the pain she had endured to simply survive at the hands of the man we rescued her from mere hours before.

This part was falling deeply in love, and more quickly than one would ever think possible.

Carlisle called this part of me the 'human' part; the mortality that still strongly existed in me that was capable of more encompassing feelings. He explained that it was exactly what he felt with Esme, Emmett with Rose and Jasper with Alice, save for the complication I faced because Bella was human, and part of me thirsted strongly for her blood.

So far, it appeared as though the 'human' half was winning.

* * *

Another hour had passed, and occasionally one of my family members would join me to wait outside the room, make casual conversation, or to check up on Bella's conditions. I was relying solely on the thoughts of Carlisle to help guide me in understanding how she was doing, but it was difficult, I was distracted by my blood thirst, and the thoughts of revenge I experienced when thinking of Bella's captor.

For the first time, Alice joined me. I could hear how guilty she felt for not discovering the true identity of Richard earlier on. She was purposely avoiding me, afraid I would blame her for nearly having Bella killed.

But I didn't. Alice had done everything she possibly could to ensure Bella's safety. And Alice at least attempted to understand why I felt so strongly for the girl.

"Any more news?"

"Not really, no. He's managed to stabilize her, and now he's focusing on the less imperative injuries." Alice sat to my side, her head facing forward, and her thoughts, from what I could gather, purposefully evasive.

"Well, that's good to hear…"

"Alice, please just tell me what is on your mind, I don't have the energy to decode your thoughts at the moment. You can just be honest with me, you know that." Alice nodded, seemingly resigned.

"Did he…"

"Bite her?" Again, she nodded, her expression more severe as her eyes clenched tightly, and she absently bit at her bottom lip.

_Such a human reaction _I mused to myself.

"No. He wasn't given the chance. But he meant to, his thoughts were sick and perverted, and he intentionally made them very easy to read." There was a long, uncomfortable silence between us before Alice spoke again.

"I'm sorry I didn't see it, Edward. I'm sorry I didn't know Richard was actually a vampire. I should have known, I should have guessed. Thinking back to it now, it was obvious. I just didn't think it was likely…"

"You have nothing to apologize for, Alice. None of us knew. And your visions are never certain. You're probably the reason Bella is still alive – if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have known just how dangerous the situation actually was."

"Thank you. And I'm glad we saved her Edward, I really am. I just wish I could see more of the future, everything surrounding Bella is so… hazy, and it's hard to tell what's happening."

"For now, she's with us, and that means she's as safe as she can be… from him, at least."

"You aren't going to hurt her, Edward. I can see that much. And Jasper is staying away, just to be safe, until his presence is really necessary to help calm Bella. Rose and Emmett have coexisted with humans throughout decades of high school and have better self-control then most vampires. It isn't in Esme or Carlisle's nature to harm a human, and both you and I care far too much for Bella to hurt her. She is safe with us, Edward. I can promise you that." Alice's features had softened, and her eyes had an intensity that spoke volumes without her needing to utter one word. She had conviction in her thoughts, her body and in her words. She truly believed what she said, and I only wished I could believe it as much as she did, too.

In the midst of my conversation with Bella, the thoughts of Carlisle interrupted us.

_It's time Edward, you may come in now and see her, but only if you feel _ready_ to._

Carlisle didn't lack compassion, and I could tell that even in his words of caution, there was a strong presence of trust and admiration. But he was also preparing me for the site I was about to see, a site I wasn't sure I could handle.

* * *

**BPOV**

_I watched as the monster crept toward me, in a stance that was unlike that of any human. His form was curled over, and his strong, muscular legs were flexed, as if he was ready to pounce any moment. He was baring his teeth, a gesture I was sure was meant to intimidate me._

_It wasn't long before the creature – yes, creature, because at this point, I couldn't ascertain if he was actually a human or not – was standing next to me. Gently, the palm of his hand began gliding over my legs, up my body, across my hips, continuously drawing closer to face. His hand rested on my face for a few moments, the unbearable cold of his skin adding to the intensity of my shivers, causing my heart to increasingly beat faster and faster. _

_And there was no way out, nobody to save me. I was sure the monster would take me, would kill me, would steal my soul and leave me completely lifeless, drained of everything that made me who I was – at least what was left of it anyway. _

_His unnaturally red lips began pulling over his gleaming teeth, and his hand was now roughly pulling my head back, exposing my neck. _

_He lowered his mouth to my neck, and I wasn't even able to fight back – I didn't have the strength, and I was completely overcome by the most disturbing pain I had ever felt, both emotionally and physically. I had nothing left in me anymore. _

When my eyes finally opened, and I awakened from what I now presumed to be a nightmare, I had a difficult time trying to determine where I was, and what was going on. From what I knew, I should have still been in that same room with Richard, and I couldn't fully understand how I had ended up here, in this beautiful, comforting room.

In moving my arm to rub my eyes, I discovered what appeared to be an IV stuck in my arm, along with several other machines that were connected to me, surrounding my bedside. This discovery only made my present situation even more confusing. Surely Richard wouldn't spend any time trying to 'fix' me… unless he intended to start all over again.

At the thought, my body had an immediately violent reaction. Before I could stop myself, my entire body was curled over the side of the bed, and I began vomiting. I felt as though my insides were coiling, twisting, knotting, and burning through my flesh, and as though my head was going to burst into thousands of small, unrecognizable pieces. I was sure the latter would kill me, and at this point, I didn't think I cared.

I was surprised to see a small bucket placed quickly underneath me, catching what I could no longer hold within me. Even in my distress, I vaguely wondered who had placed it there. Terror coursed through me again, this time, causing me to shake uncontrollably with fright.

_Please, please don't let it be him. I can't take anymore. Please, please just _kill_ me. _

_

* * *

_

**A/N: As always, thank you for your patience with my updates - I've been so incredibly busy lately, and the chapters have finally caught up with me, and I'm no longer ahead! So, I'm working to pull ahead a bit with the chapters, and once I do, I should be updating more regularly. **

**I know that many of you expressed concern about this happening to Bella, but I assure you that things will get better, just give it time. In case you haven't noticed, I really draw out plot development, but that's because I think everything I've added is relevant! =)**

**You'll notice that the preface is also apart of this chapter. Yes, that was intentional. The preface was actually a scene taken from a later chapter (this one, obviously), to help build some interest for the story. If you're still reading the story, I'm assuming it's worked! **

**Let me know what you think - I'd really appreciate a review for this chapter, especially, it took me a long time, and I had to defeat the evil demons of writers block on several occasions to pop this chapter out. Thanks for reading, and for reviewing - you're all wonderful!  
Thanks especially to: bluewolfeyes, sorasheart281 and jewels33 - you're all brilliant!**

**Until the next chapter,  
****-torrentialrains**

* * *


	7. IMPORTANT NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

Hi readers,

It's been a while since I've updated. I've written the next chapter, and it's edited and ready to be posted, but if I'm to be honest, I don't know where to go from there. I know the direction the story is headed in, but I just don't know how to get there.

I'm a bit stuck, and facing some wild writers block. Truthfully, I don't have the greatest inspiration right no. Despite the work I've put into this story, I've received many author alerts, story alerts, and favourite author/story notifications, but I receive (on average) less then 10 reviews per chapter.

So, with no inspiration, and not a vague clue as to how to carry on, I'm feeling a bit stuck.

I've tried writing chapter 10 several times (like I said, chapter 9 is already written!), but nothing is really coming to me.

So, I need your help. I want the input of readers, and I want YOU to help me to decide where I should take this next, I want to hear your ideas, and see what you would like to read in this story.

Firstly:

Do you think Bella's recovery period should last a long time? Or would you like me to skip through the majority of it (save for plot-developing moments), and move forward to a time where she is more stable?

Bella will be changed in this story: would you like that to happen sooner, or later?

Please give me any other suggestions you can think of – please, please, please!

I'm open to anything – honestly.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to those that take the time to review; I honestly, couldn't begin to tell you how much that means to me!! You're wonderful, wonderful, lovely readers!

Slightly frustrated, but still writing,

-torrentialrains.


	8. Black & White

_**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to SM!**_

**POV: **_Bella, Edward_

**Chapter 8: Black and White**

* * *

"_That which is escaped now, is pain to come."  
-Proverb_

* * *

**BPOV**

Luckily, for the sake of my sanity, before I woke up in the strange house, I really had just been having a nightmare and nothing more. Of course, I wished it was all a nightmare – what Richard had done to me was still very real. I discovered that the person in the room with me when I woke up happened to be none other then the breathtakingly handsome Edward Cullen. You can imagine my surprise at that discovery, and it took me an entire five minutes and the help of Dr. Cullen and an oxygen mask to simply regain my composure and to steady my breathing.

Breathless. He still managed to leave me breathless. I swear it was a gift he had, charming women, stealing their sanity and then their control over their bodily functions, namely breathing.

I guess I must have looked completely shocked by his presence, because he immediately launched into reassurances of my safety, explaining he wouldn't hurt me, and that I was safe with him. Had I not been in so much pain, I might have laughed at him right then in there. He didn't seem to understand that I truly wasn't afraid of him – I was amazed by him. And were my condition permitting, I think I would have started jumping for joy at the thought of no longer being Richard's prisoner. I didn't delight in the idea of being saved by anyone, but I guess this was what I had hoped for. And I was desperate, and in my desperation, the idea of a saviour was manageable.

It took me a while to be able to form words, my throat had a constricting burning feeling in it, and I found it very painful to even open my mouth. Dr. Cullen had joined us, and explained that most of my normal day to day functions would be more difficult, he clarified that I had some extensive injuries that would make most things more complex, but in time I would heal and things would become easier again. He attributed the vomiting to a combination of shock and lack of sleep and proper nutrition. He gave me pain medication, and told me it would help me sleep. I figured I had been sleeping for the past few hours, but I was still incredibly tired.

After a brief examination, Dr. Cullen left Edward and me alone again, and I couldn't help but notice how uneasy Edward seemed when it was just him and I together. It wasn't long before I was nodding off to sleep, and it appeared that Edward wasn't going to be leaving my beside anytime soon.

I had questions, but they would have to wait. For now, I needed to regain some of my strength, and sleep seemed like the perfect remedy.

**EPOV**

I was sure she would have been terrified to see me, and given all she had gone through, that reaction would have been sensible. But as I was discovering, there was nothing sensible about this girl, she was the only person who had ever managed to completely mystify me. When she first saw me in her room after she awoke from sleeping, I could tell by the look in her eyes that she recognized me, and I was searching for the fear I was sure I would see, but I couldn't see anything beyond amazement. Still, I figured it best to assure her that I wanted nothing more then to keep her from harm, and that I wouldn't bring her _any_ harm.

Out of nowhere she started gasping for breath and grasping at her throat. Without even needing to call out to him, Carlisle was in the room, at Bella's bedside rectifying the situation. Carlisle and I both knew I was capable of attending to Bella and caring for her and her injuries, given that I certainly had the qualifications. However, we had both agreed not to test my self-control any further – so the medical aspect of things was left to my father.

It wasn't long before Carlisle was gone, and Bella and I were alone again. Each time I was alone with her, it felt as though a magnetic wave was pulsing through my body, drawing me even more to her. That feeling was always there, however, when she and I were alone together, it was stronger then I ever thought possible. As Carlisle closed the door, I was overwhelmed with the scent of her blood, now flowing through her body at a steadier pace. It was intoxicating – the rich aroma filled my every sense, and soon my thoughts began to wander to places forbidden.

I had to control myself. I had to keep reminding myself of what Alice said.

"_You aren't going to hurt her, Edward. I can see that much." _There was such confidence and pride in her voice. I wondered how she was capable of being so sure of me when I couldn't even begin to trust myself.

I resolved to hold my breath, and keep a reasonable distance away from her. I wouldn't stand too close to her, but not too far either, I didn't want to arouse any suspicion, especially since as a family we had all decided that for now, Bella couldn't know what we really were, and she couldn't know what Richard really was. It would be too much for anyone to handle, and especially after all she had endured.

"How are you feeling?" I mused as she awoke from her sleep. She smiled at me half-heartedly, and reached a hand up to rub her eyes, before recoiling, I assumed from pain. I had to keep myself from growling – the sight of her in pain was enough to send me into a killing rampage.

_Control yourself! You cannot allow yourself to compromise her safety like this, so get a grip! _Self talk always helped calm me down, the more self-deprecating it was, and the better it seemed to work.

"I'm fine."

"Ah, so you're speaking now. Are you experiencing any pain when talking?"

"A bit. But like I said, I'm fine."

I was completely stunned at how together she seemed. After all she had experienced, she had every right to crumble to pieces, to cry, scream, rage, yell – anything she wanted to just find a release for her pain. It wasn't difficult to recognize just how much she was repressing the memories of what happened, and the thought of what happened. It's a common human response, to repress emotional reactions to traumatic situations. Finally there was something mildly human about this girl, aside from her gracelessness.

"How long was I sleeping for?" She began slowly pulling herself into an upright position with a great deal of pain. I fought with the urge to run to her side and help her, because I knew it was probably best to keep my distance and give her space for the next little while.

"About 6 hours."

"Were you sitting there the entire time?" A small smirk played on her pale white lips, and her eyes lit slightly with humour.

"Well – no-"

"Oh, Edward, don't lie to the girl! Yes, Bella, he was there the entire time and didn't move an inch. Kind of creepy, if you ask me!"

"Surprise, surprise, Alice"

"Oh, you could hear me coming a mile away, Edward!" Bella remained completely silent and watched Alice and I interact. I was annoyed that Alice had made slight reference to our exceptional hearing and even more annoyed that she had done so in front of Bella. Yes, I did hear her coming a mile away, but I couldn't do anything about it without rousing suspicion in Bella.

"Hi Bella, I'm Alice, Edward's sister!" Alice twirled gracefully and skipped to Bella's bedside, a smile lighting up her face. Bella didn't appear to be afraid, which was unusual for a human. Most of them had a natural sense of self-preservation that subconsciously told them we were dangerous, predators by nature and they should stay away. If anything, it appeared as though she was… _drawn _to us. So many things about this girl were unusual, and it was actually succeeding at making me feel relatively 'normal'.

Bella and Alice carried on a short conversation about our family dynamics. It appeared that despite the pain she was experiencing, and despite the trauma she had suffered, Bella was still abnormally perceptive, and immediately picked up on the strangeness of the situation of my family. I explained it to Bella as I would have explained it to anyone else, although I could hear through Alice's thoughts that she wasn't happy with the idea of lying.

_I really don't like having to lie to my future best friend, Edward. This is a rocky way to begin a friendship! I don't understand why we can't just tell her. _

Alice and I would have to talk later, because there was no way I could discuss this with her with Bella here, especially because to Bella's knowledge, I wasn't capable of reading minds, and Alice wasn't omniscient.

"So, how are you feeling?" Alice questioned, pulling a seat up to Bella's bedside.

"I'm fine."

Bella's answer was simple, and straight to the point. And she was quite convincing, especially for a human – especially since from what little I knew of her, she wasn't very good at lying. A human would have never picked up on how she really felt, because humans aren't perceptive enough to do so.

The corners of her lips turned down ever so slightly when she responded, and a light glassy film formed over her eyes, something vampire vision would only be able to catch. I could sense the way her body stiffened at the question, and the way her breathing became shallower and carefully precise.

But the most telling sign was the unforgettable look in her eyes, the pain that lingered behind her beautiful swirling russet-coloured eyes. It was as if a deep torment settled within her, barely contained, ready to reveal itself at any moment. That pain was so vivid, so real and so tangible that it roused in me for the first time a better understanding of the pain she must have experienced. And consequently, it awakened in me my own response.

Alice noticed immediately. She stopped speaking to Bella mid-sentence, and stared off into the distance, clearly seeing something. And then her head snapped in my direction, and her golden eyes were locked on my own, a sense of worry clear in her thoughts.

_Edward, you need to find a release, but you can't do it here. I don't know if Bella would be able to handle it – and I know you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if you revealed yourself to her like this. Go! Go now! I'll stay with Bella, just go and do what you need to do. _

I nodded, a gesture only Alice would have been able to notice.

"If you'll excuse me, I have some errands to run." I explained, my voice softening, a silky undertone evident. Bella looked at me, her eyes heavy, but smiled her understanding. If I wasn't mistaken, and I usually wasn't, I could have sworn she almost looked sorry to see me go; it was as though my presence was soothing to her. Again, I found myself cursing my luck for not being able to read her mind – it was frustrating, infuriating and magical all at once.

As I left the room, I looked back at Bella, and realized, once again, that she was beautiful beyond explanation. If I could have been left breathless, I would have been.

**BPOV**

I had already spent an entire week with the Cullen's; during most of it I was drifting in and out of sleep. My mind seemed to be extremely restless, and I found it impossible to stay awake longer then two hours at a time without being overwhelmed by exhaustion.

I hadn't thought I could eat anything and hold it down, so Dr. Cullen kept feeding me intravenously, hoping to help me gain my strength back. He said that I was probably tired from lack of sleep, as well as under-nourishment. I was grateful for his help, and I was grateful that I could just sleep here, without feeling unsafe.

I couldn't really explain why I felt so safe with the Cullen's, people I hadn't known for very long, but people that had saved me from a fate worse then death. I wondered often, while awake and while dreaming why I wasn't more affected by what had happened with Richard. It didn't seem to make sense.

In the week I had spent in the Cullen household, I had met with everyone already- Rosalie, Esme, Emmett, Jasper and Alice. Of course, I already knew Edward and Dr. Cullen from the hospital during my first visit. Dr. Cullen insisted several times that I stop calling him Dr. Cullen, but it came so naturally to me, and I felt as though calling him anything but would rob him of the respect he so deserved from me. However, to appease him, I made a conscience effort to start calling him Carlisle, although I found that challenging.

When I first met Esme, I was immediately comfortable around her. There was something peaceful and serene about her nature that instantly left me feeling content. She was motherly, concerned, and it wasn't difficult to tell that she was genuinely pure of heart. She reminded me of what I had missed for so long – my own mother.

Emmett had been somewhat intimidating at first, given his size and his obvious strength. But after only a few minutes with him, I felt safe and happy. He was definitely like comic relief, and he had an uncanny ability to make everyone around him laugh, even in the most tense of situations. Although, that did seem to get him into trouble with his siblings, Carlisle and Esme from time to time.

Being around Jasper was a calming experience. I immediately felt at ease around him, and my ability to open up and trust, for some reason was intensified when he was around. Of course, I hadn't shared anything personal with the Cullen's, but I felt as though if I had wanted to, it would have been okay when Jasper was near me. He was polite, although he spoke very little, and his relationship with Alice was uncanny – unlike anything I had ever seen before. They were madly in love, and it seemed as though they completed each other. I still couldn't understand why I felt so emotionally charged around him, but I didn't mind – he gave me a peace of mind, even if only for a short while.

Alice was nothing short of a pixie. She had more energy then would ever be possible for a human to have. Everything seemed to make her happy, although, occasionally, she would stare off into space like she was lost in a trance, but nobody in her family seemed fazed at all by this. I figured it was quite normal behaviour for Alice. She seemed very connected to me, like I was an important part of her life already. I hadn't spent a great deal of time with her, but she as a magical person, her spirit contagious, and her optimism endearing.

Rosalie was the most troubling of everyone. She seemed to purposely keep her distance from me, and said very little. I felt she resented my presence, but I couldn't help but notice that it also appeared as though she sympathized with me, as well. When she looked at me, there was an understanding in her eyes that was almost agonizing. It was as though she knew of the pain I was masking, no matter how prevalent it was. She could feel it, and I could tell that if anyone would understand, she would. There was such a depth to her eyes – it wasn't difficult to tell that she had demons of her own in her past.

Edward and I spent very little time together. After leaving Alice and I alone my first day there, he had been gone for three days straight, and when he came back, I was asleep, something I did a lot of during that week.

Edward had explained the dynamics of his family to me, for the second time, as best he could, although I knew he was concealing something from me. He explained that Esme wasn't able to have children, so she and Carlisle adopted kids: Jasper and Rosalie Hale being brother and sister, and Edward, Alice and Emmett all being related by blood as well. When Esme and Carlisle adopted them all, they had all found respective mates in their adoptive siblings. It was a match made by fate itself, nothing could break that bond.

He kept reassuring me that it was completely legal, and that none of them were related, and I had to explain several times that I didn't see a problem with it whatsoever, and that it truly didn't bother me.

"Honestly, I don't think it's weird at all!"

"Well, you must understand that none of the couples in this family are related by blood. The only thing that makes us related is a piece of paper that says that legally Esme and Carlisle are our legal guardians."

"Really, Edward, I'm not at all creeped out by your family. I really don't get what makes you think you're all so strange. You're _really_ not."

"Oh, Bella, you truly are a special person. Most people… well, most people tend to keep their distance from us as much as humanly possible, but you, however, seem to be drawn to us – despite how _strange_ we are." I scoffed at the last part of his comment.

"You're no stranger then anyone I've come across!" A now familiar grin played across his lips as he cocked his head toward me, smiling brightly. He seemed to find me fascinating, strange and unusual all at once.

"Edward… can I ask you something?" His expression softened, and he smiled slightly, a comforting gesture.

"Of course. Anything"

"Why…" I couldn't continue. I knew what I wanted to ask him, but I also knew that this was territory I hadn't ventured into the entire week I had been here with the Cullen's. I didn't want to open this up now, because I wasn't sure I could handle it, I wasn't sure I was ready.

"Its okay, Bella, you really can ask me anything." His expression was soft, inviting. I gazed into his swirling topaz eyes, and I realized that he was being sincere.

"Why did you save me?" I asked simply, my hands intertwining with the blanket that was covering me, my fingers tracing the pattern of the comforter. It was a moment before he spoke, and he seemed to be formulating a response in his head, thinking about the question intently.

"You're special. Whether you realize it or not, you're unlike most people I've met in my life, and you're special. And nobody deserves to be treated that way, nobody." He finished quickly, staring at me with such concentration that I felt as though I would melt under his gaze.

"But… you risked so much for me. Your entire family did. I don't even remember when you came to get me. I don't remember how you managed to get away from… _him. _The last thing I remember was humming to myself, trying to calm myself down. And then someone else was humming, too. And I felt like I wasn't alone anymore." I explained, my voice shaking, and my heart pounding loudly in my chest. I hoped I had made sense, and I hoped I hadn't made Edward uncomfortable. This was the first time since I first came to the Cullen's house that he had been alone with me – the last thing I wanted to do was scare him away.

"You don't realize it, but you're worth the risk. You're worth so much more then that, Bella. You can't tell, but you're special. I've known you for a short time, but I can already tell that you're different." His voice was low, but just loud enough so that I could hear him. My heart began skipping at his words, and my body was buzzing with nerves and anxiety.

"T-thank you." That was all I could manage. I had realized that I hadn't thanked any of the Cullen's yet for what they did for me.

"Bella, are you feeling alright? Your heartbeat is really erratic…"

"H-how do you know that?" I questioned, mentally trying to calm myself down, so I could properly carry on a conversation. There was something so strange and different about this family. There was something special about them, too. Even in the way they referenced themselves, or the slight euphemisms or jokes they made about themselves when they thought I wasn't paying attention. I didn't know what it was, yet, but I was determined to find out.

They all had the same golden-eyes that darkened sometimes, and lightened after they returned from 'errands'. They were the most beautiful people I had ever come across in my entire life – all of them so breathtakingly gorgeous that it was sometimes difficult to even look at them – Edward especially. And they seemed to know things most people wouldn't. Alice seemed to be a walking meteorologist, and Edward seemed to carry on silent conversations with various members of his family, and whenever Jasper was around, I felt my emotions shift dramatically.

I didn't know what it was yet, but there was something about these people that was different. And strangely enough, I felt as though they reminded me of someone I knew… I just couldn't figure out who, yet.

"You still didn't answer my question" I quipped, cocking an eyebrow at Edward expectantly.

"Your face flushes when your heart rate increases. You're forgetting that I've grown up with a father for a doctor. I notice these things. And you really don't see just how transparent you are. It's funny, really. You're physical reactions are so easy to read. It's your emotional reactions, the deeper and more internal reaction that I just can't comprehend." I gritted my teeth and scowled in his direction, folding my arms across my chest in mock anger. He chuckled and smiled his brilliant smile at me, sending my heart soaring, yet again.

"Hey, do you think Carlisle would let me have some solid food, today?" I wondered aloud, as my stomach grumbled loudly. My face flushed pink, and Edward began laughing again.

"Hm, you'd have to discuss that with him. He should be in momentarily, for your daily check-up."

Moments later, there was a soft knock on the door, and Carlisle walked in, as Edward exited, giving us some privacy.

"How are you feeling today, Bella?"

"I'm actually feeling better. Well enough to hopefully try some solid food today?" I said, although it was more of a question. Carlisle chuckled, pulling out his stethoscope from his medical bag.

"We'll see."

Carlisle began by checking on each of my injuries, ensuring that I was healing well, and progressing appropriately. He then began checking my vital signs, stopping occasionally to ask me questions about how I was feeling.

This had become a somewhat familiar routine, and as I healed, it became easier.

But I definitely wasn't prepared for what he was about to discuss with me. Truthfully, it hadn't even crossed my mind.

**EPOV**

"See, Edward, I knew you were capable. You just have to start trusting yourself. And honestly, stop doubting the psychic!" I couldn't even manage to smile at Alice, no matter how much I wanted to appease her. I didn't have it in me.

I had spent three hours with Bella today, two while she was asleep, and an hour with her while she was awake and alert. It had been a wonderful three hours, being in her presence, hearing her musical voice, and watching her live and breathe. Watching her live was fulfilling, and it meant so much to me to see her smile, laugh and simply exist. But I couldn't help the heavy dread that guarded me. It wasn't even my shame surrounding my bloodlust right now, either. It was the overwhelming sense that she couldn't continue being 'okay', that she wouldn't continue to function the way she had been.

Something had to give, didn't it?

"Everything okay, brother? You're nearly killing me with the emotional response you're having…" Jasper explained, walking into the room and wrapping his arms around Alice's waist, pulling her closer to his form. I merely shook my head in response.

"I just don't understand it… she's been through more traumas then most people will ever experience. The death of her parents, being abducted and then what happened only a week ago. Rightfully, shouldn't she be falling to pieces now?"

"It's never that _black and white_…" I hadn't heard Rosalie enter the room, likely because I was too distracted by my own thoughts. Alice, Jasper and I were now quiet enough to hear the sound of birds chirping miles away, cars speeding by on the highway – quiet enough to hear Bella's soft heartbeat. It was a sound I had grown accustomed to listening to – it soothed me and reassured me that as long as she was near me, it would keep on beating.

"There is no 'right' way to process that kind of pain. Some people do it right away, and for some, it just doesn't register immediately. Give it time… nobody can experience that and not eventually _feel_ it. Today, tomorrow, next week, next year. Her pain will eventually find a way to manifest itself." Rosalie's voice was slow, meaningful, but full of pain and remorse. I could hear exactly how difficult it was for her to be living in the same house as Bella, how much it reminded her of what happened to her, the very thing that made her what she was today.

If anyone knew the pain Bella was, or would be experiencing, Rosalie did. I couldn't help but wonder if that was why she was keeping her distance from Bella. She had spent an increased amount of time hunting since Bella had arrived, and I think I finally understood why. Rosalie was still in pain, even all of these years later.

Nobody spoke for a long while. Eventually, Emmett came into the room as well, wrapping his arms around Rosalie, and pulling her into a crushing embrace, gently kissing along her neck and jaw line.

We were all congregated in the living room, save for Esme, who was grocery shopping for Bella, anticipating her being able to eat soon, and Carlisle who was continuing his check up on Bella.

Jasper sat on one couch, Alice in his lap, locked in a loving embrace while Rose and Emmett sat on the couch opposite that one, next to one another, their arms entangled as Rose nestled her head in the crook of Emmett's neck.

"How is she doing?" Rose asked, looking at me, her eyes soft – which was a rarity for her.

"She's doing okay. As best as can be expected. She's talking a lot more today, and she doesn't seem as tired. Like I said, though, she doesn't really seem fazed by what happened to her. Although, she did mention it today, for the first time." I explained, trying my hardest to continue to focus on Bella's heartbeat while responding to Rosalie.

"That's a good thing. Opening up to anyone is a good thing. Even about the smallest things, it just means she's closer to being ready to let herself feel what she needs to." Jasper explained, his hand drawing soft circles over Alice's exposed leg.

It was then that I noticed the increase in Bella's heartbeat, the way it radically changed alerted me that something in her environment had triggered a strong reaction from her – but I couldn't be sure what it was. I immediately locked my eyes on Alice's, silently asking her what was going on. Alice's face went completely blank.

"We – we should go. We should leave for a while – why don't we go for a drive into town, pick up some clothes and food for Bella?" She asked, clearly trying to get us out of the house. It appeared the only Jasper, Alice and I knew that something was going on.

"No, Esme is out getting that stuff. Besides, Rose and I want a bit of alone time" Emmett grinned, resting his hand on Rosalie's thigh.

"No. Let's go. Now."

That was all Alice had to say and Jasper, Rose and Emmett were filing out the door, toward their cars.

"Alice… what's going on? Is Bella okay?" I questioned, purposely walking slowly toward the door.

"She's fine… she deserves a bit of privacy today. And that's hard to get with 5 vampires in a house, don't you think?"

"Fine." A quick look into Alice's thoughts, and I understood why.

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**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who responded to my request, through private messaging or through reviews. I really appreciated it. And, it was the motivation I needed to get the next two chapters written, edited and ready and waiting to be posted! **

**If you normally are someone that doesn't review, do it anyway! I honestly appreciate any and every review I get. **

**Thanks to:  
****gjmb2000****- Glad to hear you're enjoying the story!  
****Huntedbyafreak- I agree, it might become too repetitive, I'll try to avoid that!  
****TaintedCrys- Thank you so much for your input, I really appreciated it, and it was nice hearing from you =)  
****Fameotic-, lifeisruff and Twilightaholic1122 – thanks! **

******I will now be posting the points of view each chapter is written in at the beginning of the chapter, to avoid confusion...**

**As always, let me know what you think!!!!! **


	9. Conversations and Silent Declarations

_**Disclaimer: The lovely SM owns it all!**_

**POV: **_Carlisle, Bella, Edward_

**Chapter 9 – Conversations and Silent Declarations**

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"_Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin."_

_-Tori Amos_

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**CPOV**

It was an issue that I hadn't addressed immediately with Bella, only because I knew that it was a delicate subject, and one that she was probably not very willing to discuss. However, at this point, I couldn't postpone it any longer – it wasn't medically safe, and I was beginning to believe it wasn't emotionally safe for her, either.

I knew that if I brought up the topic, Bella would likely have questions. Questions about Richard, about us, about the differences and the similarities. Of course, that would be entirely understandable. I knew she was clever enough to see the differences, no matter how subtle we tried to make them.

I hadn't made my decision until seconds before Bella's check-up was over. I didn't want Alice to know what was going on, because Edward would likely see it, and he would try to stop me. I knew my son well. He would want to protect Bella for as long as he could, but this was something I couldn't avoid. I wasn't going to tell Bella about who we were, not until I had discussed the idea with my family, and we had all reached an agreement. However, from a medical standpoint, this was something that needed to be done – for Bella's sake.

"Bella, how have you been feeling since you arrived?"

"Fine. My bruises are healing well and I'm already thinking -" I interrupted her before she could speak another word.

"Bella, I mean how are you feeling emotionally? I know some about how you're doing physically…" I noticed the very immediate and obvious change in her expression. Her eyes became heavier, and she averted her stare away from me, seemingly shamed.

"I know this must be a difficult topic for you, but it's important to your recovery. Healing isn't just a physical process, you also need to heal yourself emotionally."

"I know. I know. I know that… it's just that, I really don't feel much, right now. Other then happiness to be away from _him _and sadness that there are so many people still there, still in his grips…" she said gently.

"I understand Bella. And your reaction isn't uncommon, especially for people who have been through such a great deal of trauma."

"I just… can't. Not yet, at least. I don't have anything to say…"

"I understand. And there is no rush. I just wanted to make sure you were actually doing as well as you let on."

"I'm…" I didn't need Edward's gift to know she was just about to say she was fine. It was evident that she intended to say that, but something stopped her, and I was curious as to what that could have been.

"It's hard… sometimes. The nightmares… the reminders. But I try to forget about it. It's hard – to block it out of my mind. But being around all of you has really helped; it makes things a lot easier. There is still a lot I don't understand, but right now, I can manage, and that's making this easier to handle. I don't know if I got a chance before to thank you for everything. I can't tell you how much it means to me, Dr. Cullen – I mean _Carlisle_." I couldn't help but smile at the incredibly brave young woman sitting in front of me. She had the most magnificent smile, and it captured my heart every time she looked at me.

She truly was special. And although I didn't feel for her the way Edward did, she was special to me, too. There was just something about her that tied her to me, and my family. Some cosmic, otherworldly connection that none of us could properly explain, but all felt.

"I can't begin to imagine how difficult it is for you. Just know that if you need us, we're here for you – however we can be." She smiled, nodding her head slightly, as if to say she understood.

And now for the hard part…

**BPOV**

Carlisle was one of the gentlest people I had been around in a very long time. Fearfully, I wondered if I had become used to the harsh treatment I suffered while living at The Manor. I shuddered at the thought.

It was with sadness that Carlisle reminded me of my own father, the memory of Charlie stirring within me a familiar panging sadness. It was comforting to be around Carlisle, because I felt as though I had some sort of a father again, but being reminded of my own father was a painful experience.

Truthfully, I hadn't spent much time these past few months thinking of either of my parents. My whole world seemed to revolve around single moments, pain and recovery lately.

Carlisle had been the first to bring up my emotional well-being, and I wasn't sure if I was relieved or nervous when he did.

"It's hard… sometimes. The nightmares… the reminders. But I try to forget about it. It's hard – to block it out of my mind. But being around all of you has really helped; it makes things a lot easier. There is still a lot I don't understand, but right now, I can manage, and that's making this easier to handle. I don't know if I got a chance before to thank you for everything. I can't tell you how much it means to me, Dr. Cullen – I mean _Carlisle_." I put emphasis on his name, wanting him to know that I respected him enough to respect his wishes. He smiled, his gentle eyes surveying me.

""I can't begin to imagine how difficult it is for you. Just know that if you need us, we're here for you – however we can be."

"Now, Bella. There is one other serious matter that I need to discuss with you before today's check-up is over. It's important that we take care of this as soon as possible, and I know it will be difficult, but I'll do everything I can to make it as easy as possible…"

_What is he talking about? _I wondered to myself. What could be left to do medically? He had already done everything I could think of…

"Sure, Carlisle. What is it?" I questioned, apprehension teeming in my voice.

"I don't know much about what happened to you that night, when we came to get you from The Manor. I do know, however, that when we found you, you were quite battered, and you weren't clothed." My heart sank to the pits of my stomach, as my head began throbbing wildly, my face flushing a bright red.

_Of course. Of course he would have questions about that. He's my doctor! _I didn't know how to respond. What would I do, or say? Did he already know what happened that night? Did he know what Richard had done – what he had taken from me? Would I need to be examined? My hands began shaking, my heart thudding wildly.

_Just don't cry, Bella! Don't cry! _

"W-well… w-hat do you want to know?" I tried to steady my voice, but it was impossible.

Carlisle pulled a chair up beside my own. He had taken to the habit of examining me while I was sitting on a chair instead of the bed. Now I understood why – he probably figured that the reminder would be too vivid, otherwise.

"I know this is going to be difficult for you. And we can take as much time as you need. If you'd like, I could ask Esme, Alice or Rose to join us?"

"No. It's fine."

"Alright, just let me know if you need a moment, okay?" I nodded, trying to stabilize my emotions.

"Were you sexually assaulted that night, Bella?" Hot daggers. It felt like hot daggers were soaring through my veins, ripping my body open, allowing my soul to pour from every open wound. My heart was pumping wildly in my chest, and I idly wondered if this is what it felt like to go into cardiac arrest.

Those words. They meant so much – held so much meaning. They had more power then I could have ever imagined – and up to this point, I hadn't even really thought much about what my answer to that question would be.

"Yes" I managed to choke out. The response was immediate, and a simple yes was all I could offer. I couldn't piece together enough words to formulae a response beyond that. Carlisle seemed to understand, because although I could see his jaw clench at my answer, while his eyes remained soft and understanding.

"Well, if that is the case, I really think it would be beneficial, and in your best interest to have an examination done. We would want to make sure everything is fine, and that no serious damage occurred. You might not feel the pain, but it could be due to the pain medication you're already taking. I'm confident that nothing serious has happened, otherwise we would probably know at this point, but it is important to make sure." Carlisle explained while his voice remained gentle and understanding with each word spoken purposefully.

I couldn't help the feeling of shame that began to overwhelm me. I could feel my face flush, as my hands continued to shake, despite my efforts to steady them. This wasn't a reality I wanted to face. It wasn't something I felt I could manage – it just seemed to be too much.

Everything had been fine until this point. I had managed to successfully ignore that night as best I could, and now, here it was, my world crashing down around me at the mention of two simple words. I wanted to run and hide, and bury myself away in the darkest depths of the world, never to be found again by anyone. Because I didn't think there was any pain in the world that could compare to how I felt right now. I didn't want to be apart of myself, I didn't want to exist, especially not in my own skin.

This body, it was tainted. It was torn, battered and bruised – both inside and out. It was a simple receptacle for evil, the very root and core of the evil that was capable of penetrating the lives of so many. My heart felt as though it was being slowly compressed, to the point of bursting into millions of pieces.

I couldn't process anything. I couldn't breathe.

_I couldn't breathe._

**CPOV**

Looking into the eyes of that positively tormented young woman was surely, without a doubt the most troubling experience I had ever had with a patient. Possibly because she was more then just a patient now, I didn't know exactly what Bella was, but she was slowly becoming part of my family, and watching anyone I cared about in pain undoubtedly meant I would be in pain as well.

I watched her lips quiver as I mentioned two words I feared exposing her to. Two words that would be the source of heartache for a long time for this beautiful creature. And I could see as those two words resonated in her mind, bringing to her the full realization of her experience.

I didn't know if she would be able to handle it at this point, but I had to explain that an examination was necessary to ensure her well-being. The sooner, the better. It had already been put off long enough, and if there were any serious repercussions, the earlier we caught it, the better. It was a big request of a traumatized person, to sit through an examination that would no doubt be a vivid reminder of the very event that had traumatized her.

I allowed her some time to process the information, and only a few minutes had passed when her heartbeat went into overdrive, and the sound of her breathing was no longer steady.

She was having a panic attack, and a severe one, at that. Immediately, I was at Bella's side, coaching her through deep breathing exercises aimed at helping her to regain control of her breathing. The attack lasted for only 7 minutes before she was able to breathe regularly again. She looked at me, her eyes brimming with tears, and her expression sorrowful.

"It's alright, Bella. Your response is understandable. I realize I'm asking a lot of you, and if you're not able to do it, I understand. We could always take you down to the hospital and have one of my female colleagues perform the exam if that would be of any help." I offered. But Bella fervently shook her head, and managed a small smile in my direction, wiping the tears that were brimming at her eyes before they could spill over.

"No. No, I can do this. And I don't want to go to the hospital; I don't want to leave this place. It's too dangerous." She explained slowly, her words jumbled between deep intakes of air. I nodded, standing up and moving toward my medical bag.

"Is there anything I can do to make this experience easier for you?"

"Can you make sure Edward is here… so I can see him afterwards?" I smiled. Of course, that was the least I could do. I was vaguely aware that my family had left just before I had initiated the conversation with Bella.

But if I knew Alice, I knew she would know she needed to bring Edward back – that he was needed.

**BPOV**

I truly didn't understand why I was agreeing to this. Just the idea of it was terrifying, and it hadn't even begun yet. Why was I putting myself through this?

_Because you're strong enough. And even if you aren't, you have to prove you're capable, that you're not falling apart. You can't let them see you fall apart. Ever._

I didn't know why, but when Carlisle asked if I needed anything to make the situation easier, I requested to see Edward afterward. I didn't know why, I would have figured that I wouldn't have wanted anyone anywhere near me, but for some reason, I felt complete when he was next to me. I felt safe, and I felt… more absolute then I had in a very, very long time.

"You'll have to lie down on the bed, and remove what you're wearing on your bottom half."

And that's when my stomach really began doing back flips.

**EPOV**

I was angry. Fuming. Livid. I couldn't control the anger that was overwhelming my every sense. I wanted to rip something to shreds, feed on anything I could get my hands on. It was the monster within me responding to my dramatic emotional state.

I had quickly peered into Alice's mind to understand why she so quickly ushered us from the house, and what I saw brought about a very difficult realization.

My mind immediately began replaying the moment when we had rescued Bella. I pulled the covers from her battered figure, only to find that she wore nothing underneath the covers concealing her fragile body.

I hadn't really thought about what that could mean, or what could have been done to her in that time. Things had been so hectic around my household since she arrived, with Jasper working twice as hard to control his bloodlust, and the entire family, Carlisle, Alice and I excluded, hunting twice as much simply to be on the safe side.

I spent my time trying to find an appropriate outlet for my anger. I was angry that someone could brutalize this precious angel in such a malicious way. I was angry that I wasn't able to finish Richard off, and I was angry that it was one of my kind that had done this to her. She could have so easily been killed by Richard – the strength of a vampire could allow us to easily tear a human being to shreds, with very little effort.

I couldn't understand how we didn't foresee it. Why didn't we know that there was another coven living so closely to us? And how had Richard been able to control his bloodlust to perpetuate such despicable acts against Bella?

In a short family discussion we had while Bella was asleep about the situation, and how we were going to handle it, Carlisle suggested that perhaps Richard's gift was that of unmatched self-control. He vaguely remembered hearing something about a newborn vampire that showed impeccable self-restraint during his time living with the Volturi. He couldn't be entirely sure, but it would explain why Richard was able to be around Bella and so many other humans for so long without killing them.

And his eyes weren't red, either. Carlisle suggested that it was probably because he wore contact lenses, to ensure that nobody became suspicious.

I had been so distracted for so long, that I hadn't even really tried to understand what Bella might have experienced that night, and I hadn't bothered to ask Alice to see if she knew, either.

I had the sinking feeling that my entire family had a good idea of what Bella had been through. Especially because Rosalie, on several occasions, had spoke for Bella when Bella couldn't speak for herself, advocating the pain Bella might be experiencing through her own knowledge of such brutal violence.

It was quite obvious. So why hadn't I realized it until now… until Alice's vision had shown Carlisle asking Bella if that was what had happened to her?

"Be easy on yourself, Edward. I'm not sure what's eating at you, but it's a powerful emotion, and I'm sure it's not one you deserve to carry with you." Jasper interrupted my quiet reverie, being the first to speak in the car since we had left, 45 minutes ago.

There was no where we needed to go, so we drove around in Emmett's jeep aimlessly, waiting until Alice said we were okay to return to our home again.

As if on cue, Alice spoke.

"Emmett, turn around!" Alice turned toward me before speaking "Edward, Bella is going to need you, soon. And you need to be there for her. So get a grip on your emotions, because right now isn't the time to fall apart."

And with that, we were speeding in the direction of our home, the silence restored.

**CPOV**

"We're done now, Bella. It's okay; you may open your eyes." Throughout the entire examination, Bella had her eyes tightly shut, refusing to open them at any point. I supposed that it helped her focus, or it kept her grounded – whatever the reason, Bella had been incredibly courageous throughout the entire thing.

Unfortunately, there were a few things that were cause for concern regarding Bella's condition. She would heal properly and promptly, from what I could tell, but when she was taken off the pain medication, she would experience pain for a few weeks, as well as some mild discomfort.

I was surprised that she wasn't in worse condition.

Bella didn't open her eyes. She was still breathing, and from the sounds of her heartbeat, she was still awake, but her eyes remained shut, and her body shifted into a foetal position, with her hands pulling her knees up to her chest.

Still, her eyes remained shut, even as Edward quietly entered the room, and sat down next to her bed. She remained like that for a long time, saying nothing, barely moving an inch. I left shortly after Edward arrived, and went to join my family downstairs, to discuss a few things regarding Bella.

I wouldn't discuss what had transpired between Bella and me earlier that day, and Alice wouldn't share what she knew. Even Jasper wouldn't reveal the emotions he was vicariously experiencing through the members of his family that understood the situation.

And although my family grew frustrated with me, I knew it wasn't my place to share this with them. It wasn't my place to share this with anyone. This was Bella's, and Bella's alone. Besides, it wasn't an important piece of information, anyway. Bella would recover, and that was all they needed to know.

"She can't stay here, Carlisle."

"Rose, she has nowhere else to go right now. We can't simply release her back into that sick, cruel world, only to be picked up by that monster again and hurt. No doubt he'll still be looking for her, she knows far too much for him to keep her alive." Esme explained, taking a seat next to Carlisle, sitting across from Jasper and Alice, and adjacent to Emmett and Rosalie. Edward was still upstairs with Bella, but I knew he could hear this conversation, if he chose to.

"All the more reason to take her away from here, to another country or continent or something, and let her go! We're harbouring her, waiting for him to come back and start a war with our coven. You saw how many vampires came when we were there, didn't you? There were at least nine, not including him." Rosalie seethed, her palms face down on the table, as she leaned over, staring intently at the members of her family.

"Rose… we can't just let her go. She has nothing left… and she feels… _safe_ with us." It was Emmett who spoke now, as he snaked a hand around Rosalie's slender waist, only to have her forcefully slap his hand away.

"And we can't sacrifice ourselves for some human we barely know!" Rosalie roared, slamming her fists down on the oak table, making a cracking sound.

"Calm down, Rosalie. We are not your enemies, we're your family. Remember that." I said my voice remaining calm and gentle, but still stern.

"Rose, why are you acting this way? You know, better then anyone, the pain this poor girl is in, and you're still treating her like this!"

"Exactly!" she shrieked, sitting down next to Emmett, resigned.

"And that is exactly why I don't want her here." Rosalie's voice was low, so that only a vampire sitting in the same room as her would be able to hear.

"I don't want this constant reminder of my past hanging out in the spare bedroom upstairs. It's too much."

"This isn't only about you, Rose!" Alice shouted, standing up.

"You don't understand, Alice! You have no clue what it's like!"

"That is _enough!_" I needed to interject. Not only would Bella be able to hear the shouting, but this was not how the Cullen's resolved their problems. We didn't pit against one another; we worked as a unit, as a team.

"Since we cannot reach an agreement right now, Bella will stay with us until we can figure out a more permanent solution. Whether that include her living with us, or living elsewhere. But while she is here, you will all treat her with respect. She has been through more then enough already."

Although I could tell I hadn't pleased anyone fully, they all nodded, agreeing that more time to think on it would be beneficial.

**EPOV**

"Edward?" The voice of an angel rang through the room, my eyes immediately rested on Bella, whose eyes were now wide open, and quivering with fear, tears brimming, threatening to spill over.

"I'm here." I pulled the chair closer to the bed, and focused my attention on Bella.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, as her fingers gripped around the pale white comforter.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Bella. Absolutely nothing." Her mouth opened in an 'O' formation, but no words came, no sounds, nothing. In moments, the tears began falling uncontrollably, as she buried her face in the covers, attempting to hide her pain. I said nothing, for once in my life, truly not knowing what would best help the person I was trying to comfort. Emotions were second nature to me, but I couldn't understand what Bella needed right now. It was maddening

**BPOV**

I needed to be held. I needed to be comforted; I needed to know I wasn't alone. Finally, the pain I had been pushing away was surfacing, and it was more overwhelming then I could have ever thought possible. The misery of the situation was violently gripping at me, taking a hold of every piece of my being, ripping at it.

The tears came. I couldn't stop them any longer. They streamed down my face, as I sobbed uncontrollably. The anguish was devastating me.

But I still wanted someone to hold me. I had spent so much time being alone, being afraid, tormented, beaten, humiliated… hurt. I needed to know someone was there, and was never going to let anyone hurt me ever again.

I rolled onto my side, and raised my hand to Edward's face, my palm connecting and resting on his cheek.

"Y-you're s-s-o cold. Like h-i-im. But I kn-ow you're diff-erent." I said through sobs. Edward's eyes softened, and he gently placed his hand over the hand I rested on his face, squeezing lightly.

"What can I do, Bella? How can I help?"

"J-ust h-o-old me?" And he did. I shifted my body forward on the bed, making room for him to crawl in beside me. He wrapped his arm around my middle; I could feel the tension emanating from him, but he was here, and he was holding me. And in that moment, I truly realized that I meant something to him – that I was special. Edward cared for me. I continued to cry, letting the pain in my heart soar through me and release itself.

And that was when I heard the familiar tune again. Edward was humming the familiar lullaby I heard the night he saved me. And it didn't remind me of Richard – no, not of him. It reminded me of my _saviour_.

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**A/N: Here it is! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed reading the reviews of the last chapter. Thank you all so much for your thoughts - it was greatly appreciated. As always, I'd like to continue to hear your thoughts about this story. **

**SO LEAVE A REVIEW!!!**

**This story is far from over, and I'd love to hear anymore thoughts anyone has about where they would like to see this going. **

**Thank you all for the reviews.  
Thanks especially to:  
**_-Siobhan- Those were all fantastic suggestions, and some of them are things I have already thought of, others are things I think would be a great addition... perhaps just added later on... in a different way (if you catch my drift!) Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, I hope you'll continue to do so. You have some GREAT suggestions!  
-Cinnyshy- great questions! Okay, I hope this chapter answers some of those questions. As to the question about when Bella will turn into a vampire... well, that has to be a surprise, but I assure you it will be unexpected, and it won't be at the end of the story. I'm planning on having quite a few chapters portraying Bella as a vamp. Right now, Edward has a pretty good idea of what happened to her, however, he hasn't really had time to react. You'll see his reaction next chapter. Bella will find out the Cullen's are vampires soon, VERY soon!  
-Cullencrazed2- Thanks for the review - I love hearing from you! _

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone! I was a bit disapointed to see that this chapter only recieved 6 reviews. I know more then 6 people are reading this... I don't know how long it's  
going to be until my update if I'm only getting 6 reviews per chapter. I used to be getting 10+... I need some motivation, readers!**

**Thanks to the great people that reviewed. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

* * *


	10. Breakdowns and Breakthroughs

_**Disclaimer: All of it belongs to the lovely and brilliant SM!**_

**POV: **_Edward, Esme, Bella, Rosalie, Alice_

**Chapter 10: Breakdowns and Breakthroughs**

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_"Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this sun of York."  
-__From __Richard III_ by William Shakespeare

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**EPOV**

"Has anyone tried talking to her, yet?" Alice questioned, fisting a handful of Jasper's hair in her hands, absently twirling the curls between her fingers.

"She doesn't want to talk – at least not yet…" I explained.

"Yesterday was a difficult day for her, Alice, its normal that she would need some time to recuperate after that." Carlisle offered, while flipping through the pages of a large Medical Text.

"I just… I don't know. I feel like she needs us, or she needs someone to pull it all out of her."

"Alice, she'll do it in her own time, and forcing her is the last thing that would be helpful." My voice was low, concentrated. I was trying desperately not to show just how affected I was by Bella's suffering, and her silence.

"You've not yet seen anything surrounding Bella, have you, Alice?" Carlisle's voice was not chastising, nor did it detect even a hint of impatience. His question was genuine, and we all knew how frustrated Alice was when trying to see anything significant surrounding Bella's future; for some reason, it was extremely hazy. Alice's nose scrunched slightly at the question, and her eyes narrowed.

"No. Not yet. But it's not because I'm not trying, because I am! I can see small things, here and there, but nothing that makes any sense."

"Carlisle, any idea as to why that might be?" Jasper questioned, curious. There was something extraordinary about Bella – my gift was rendered useless on her, and Alice's gift seemed to be less then effective.

"Well, I've been looking into it. But it doesn't appear to make any sense. I believe that Edward can't read Bella's mind because she's wired differently – almost as though there is a glitch in her brain. I'm not sure if that translates to the reasons why Alice's visions of Bella are still hazy, because if that were the case, Alice wouldn't be able to see even a small snippet of Bella's future, and yet, she can. And Jasper's gift appears to work on Bella, as well. Very effectively, at that."

"Do you think it could be because Bella's future is still so uncertain? Alice could detect Bella's future before we rescued her…"

"That is surely a possibility, and I'm leaning in that direction. But again, I'm still not certain." Carlisle explained, his voice light and airy, an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Ooooh!" Alice shrieked, bouncing up and down happily on the balls of her feet. "It looks like we're having dinner tonight and it looks like Bella will be joining us!" she exclaimed happily, flashing a toothy grin in my direction.

"I thought you were having difficulty seeing Bella's future, Alice." I wondered out loud.

"I am. This isn't just Bella's future; it affects all of us, which is probably why I could see it."

"That might not be such a bad idea. I think it's an appropriate time to start Bella on solid food anyway, and Esme would love the opportunity to cook something for once." Carlisle mused happily, closing the Medical Text in front of him before opening another one. Another great thing about being a vampire: multitasking was incredibly easy.

"Carlisle…" I shot him a warning look "I think we should have a family meeting before dinner with Bella." Carlisle simply nodded.

"Alice, what time are you expecting dinner to be ready?"

"Dinner will be ready at 6:34! And the family meeting will happen at 4… no 5… no – Carlisle! Stop changing your mind!"

"Family meeting at 4 o'clock, then?"

"Fine."

"Sure! I'll let the others know!" Alice said happily, before skipping out of the room, dragging Jasper behind her.

"Calm down, Edward. Have a bit of faith in your family." Carlisle chided.

"She already has questions about what we are Carlisle. There are some things we all really need to discuss."

**EsmePOV**

She was such a sweet child, with a story that was absolutely heart-wrenching. Although it was a source of controversy for my family, Bella's presence made me happier then I had felt in a long time. Of course, the circumstances in which she found herself with us were horrendous, but her existence was already having a profound impact on my family.

I could already tell that this child had captured a piece of Alice's heart. Already, Alice considered Bella to be like a sister to her. She knew that she and Bella would one day be the best of friends, and seeing Alice so happy to have someone so special in her life undoubtedly had the same effect on me.

For Rosalie, Bella was a painful, but necessary reminder of her past. Rosalie had lived for decades now as a vampire, but she had still not dealt with the pain of her mortal life; the very reason she was a vampire was something she had always pushed to the back of her mind. It was the thing that made my child bitter; it haunted her, and made her angry, with no outlet for her pain. Finally, as painful as it was, Rosalie was confronted with her past, and hopefully, she would begin the process of healing. I wanted nothing more then to see Rosalie experience reprieve from the anguish of her past.

Carlisle was a caring person by nature. The opportunity to take another person under his wing, and heal her, emotionally and physically was something that always fulfilled my husband. And with Bella, it was different. Because, although I couldn't fully understand the reasons why, Bella was special.

And of course, for Edward, it was already apparent that Bella would be the greatest source of happiness for him. Alice had already witnessed their connection, through her visions, but now the rest of my family could see it too, as we watched and listened to the interactions they shared. To Edward, Bella meant more then any of us could even begin to understand. And I strongly believed that Bella's shared the same feelings, although for her they were more difficult to understand given everything she was going through.

Alice had informed me of the family dinner that had been planned for tonight. I was delighted to finally get some use out of the elaborate kitchen we had in our home. It was a rarity for me to cook anything, so tonight I planned on cooking as much as I possibly could. I had the feeling that I would be utilising our kitchen more and more with Bella around, and the idea excited me.

Carlisle had finally stabilized Bella so that she was able to function properly and safely without any machines attached to her, much to Bella's delight. She hadn't been able to walk very much in the past little while, so Carlisle left it up to Alice and me to show her to a shower, and to help her familiarize herself with walking around.

I rapped lightly on the door, waiting for a response.

"Come in" Bella's soft voice sounded through the door.

"Hello Bella, dear"

"Hi Esme" Bella grinned. Alice skipped happily to Bella's bedside, smiling all the while.

**BPOV**

I let the water cascade down my body, the heat penetrating my skin – it was refreshing. I watched as the steam began to rise, and flow over the enclosure of the shower. I never wanted to leave – it was the only time I could ever feel clean again.

I could still feel his cold body resting on top of mine, his arms wrapping around my slender waste, pulling me closer to him. His hands gripping around my arms, leaving painful bruises behind, his mouth as it trailed kisses along my collarbone, stopping along the way to gently pull at the skin with his razor sharp teeth.

I traced my fingers along my collarbone, feeling the indentations his teeth had left behind, the scars that were beginning to form. I allowed my hands to run down my sides, feeling the grooves of my rib cage as my hands travelled lower and lower, before stopping on the crescent shape scar located on my upper thigh.

He never once bit me, only grazed his teeth across my skin, and that alone had been enough to cause me to bleed, leaving unsightly scars behind. I remember how concerned Carlisle had been about the cuts when he first saw them – he wanted to know very specific details about whether or not I had actually felt his teeth sink into me, or whether or not his teeth merely slid over my skin.

This shower, while refreshing, was also a painfully intimate reconnection with my body I wasn't sure I was entirely ready to experience. I had spent the past while trying to separate myself from my body, because that way, my body would be what was hurt, and not my heart and soul.

But here, under the pressure of the warm shower, with my body so exposed before my own eyes, I couldn't deny that this was mine, and that the experience, as well, was mine. All of it belonged to me, had happened to me. And no amount of wishing would ever erase that.

So I scrubbed. And I scrubbed. And I kept scrubbing, ruthlessly, without caution, until my skin was red, raw and swollen.

And still, I just didn't feel clean. I felt like I couldn't get him off of me. I felt like he was still with me, everywhere I went.

I hadn't even noticed when the tears began to fall. But when they did, I couldn't stop them. It was so far beyond my control at that point, and the pain I felt was so real, and so heavy that I just couldn't hold it in any longer.

I sobbed, and I scrubbed as I sat on the floor of the shower, my arms wrapped around my body, hugging me close to myself. And I kept on crying, my chest heaving with the weight of my sobs. I was sure that the Cullen's could hear me, but I didn't care at this point. I needed to cry out my pain, I needed to release my pain through my tears, because I couldn't hold this darkness inside of me anymore. It was choking me, strangling me and sucking the life out of me.

I watched as it swirled down the drain – the blood I had recently released with my incessant scrubbing.

I watched as the impurity that was now me began flowing down the drain. I wished the drain would swallow me up too, drag me away to somewhere where it didn't hurt anymore. I wished I would just dissolve into unrecognizable pieces, simply ceasing to exist.

And I continued to cry, so hard that it hurt.

**EPOV**

I listened helplessly to the tortured cries of Bella. We could all hear it; Rosalie in the garage, Alice in her bedroom with Jasper, Esme beginning dinner and Carlisle in his study. And I could hear it as my fingers deftly traced the keys of the piano. The sound was so piercing that I could no longer concentrate on my music.

Now, I stood outside the bathroom door, leaning my head against the hard wood, desperately listening to Bella sob.

I knew she needed this release, but it didn't make it any easier. Pain wasn't foreign to me, but this magnitude of pain was. I had never known such a torturous pain in my life, and I was glad. Inside, I desperately wished I could take away Bella's pain, and carry it for her. I couldn't bear to listen to her fighting through such turmoil. It wasn't right that an angel should have to suffer so greatly. I would have gladly taken her burden and carried it for her.

As I heard her cries intensify, I wanted nothing more then to break the door down, walk inside and hold her as she cried. I wanted to rock her gently in my arms, and assure her that it would be okay. I wanted to soothe her, comfort her and take away her pain.

But it wasn't the right thing to do, not now anyway. She needed to feel this alone, she needed this moment to herself to just feel, without any guilt or any inhibitions.

And again, if I had a heart, I was sure it was breaking.

**RPOV**

It was piercing: the sound of the human girl's cries. It started abruptly, and continued without ceasing. Her cries were so pained, so raw and so real, that I couldn't concentrate. I dropped the wrench I was holding, and leaned against the hood of my car, waiting for it to stop.

I listened as she sobbed and sobbed, with no regard. I listened as she poured out her pain, exposed and real.

In a way that I had never been able to.

And in that moment, I desperately wanted to wrap my arms around her, and console her. Because I knew her pain, and I knew how crippling it could be. I wanted to cry with her, and hold onto her, I wanted to release my pain. I wanted to cry. But I couldn't.

Vampires don't cry.

**APOV**

I held onto Jasper's hand tightly, rubbing small circles over his back as he tried his hardest to push Bella's pain out of his body. It was intense, and it was too much for him to handle at one time.

I watched as Jasper writhed on our bed, occasionally yelping in pain – his response to Bella's emotional release was overwhelming to watch. I stayed with him, holding onto him, trying to console him as best I could.

I looked over at the clock on my nightstand: 3:56. The family meeting was about to begin, and from what I could tell, it was important that our entire family was present for this meeting.

"Jazz, do you think you can make it down to the living room? We really need to be at this family meeting" I pleaded, gently rubbing the curls of his hair in between my slender fingers.

Jasper nodded.

"I'll be down in a moment, Alice. You go ahead. I need to compose myself first – promise I won't be late." He squeezed my hand before releasing it.

I saw Edward in the hallway before he even knew he would be there. I had a vision of it. Again, I didn't know why he would be there, because everything surrounding Bella was so hazy, but now it made more sense. I slowly walked toward him, watching the pained expression on his face intensify whenever Bella's sobs became louder. I placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning against him.

_C'mon, Edward. We should get going; she'll still be here when we're done. This is too important to miss. _

Edward looked at me, his eyes locked on mine.

"What if she needs me? What if she calls for me, and I'm not there?" He questioned, his voice strained, but barely above a whisper.

_You'll hear her calling, if she does. We aren't going far. And she's going to be a while, I think. _

"She sounds hurt – is she hurt, Alice?"

_I don't know, Edward, I can't see that much. But I really don't think so. She'll be fine, let's go. _

I clasped his hand in mine, and placed my free hand on his back. I could see how much this was hurting him. It was hurting me, too. I couldn't begin to imagine how much this was affecting him.

When we reached the living room, the rest of the family was already sitting, waiting. I examined the faces of my family, and never had I seen so much pain in all of them at once. Bella's impact on my whole family was profound.

In Rosalie, especially, though, I noticed the most significant change. Her eyes appeared softer, more caring and kind, although there was also evidence of heartache as well. Her hand was draped across Emmett's lap, and her fingers tapped against his thigh lovingly. Her eyebrows were knit, and her jaw was clenched. She looked like she was in pain.

"Where is Jasper, Alice?" Carlisle wondered, holding Esme's hand in his.

"He'll be down in a second. This is… hard for him. He can feel everything she's feeling…" I explained with very little detail, knowing my family would understand without much explanation. Jasper's gift was both a curse and a blessing.

"We should begin without him" Carlisle explained, taking a seat with Esme at his side. Edward let go of my hand, and sat in the armchair he normally sat in during family meetings. I sat in the loveseat across from Edward, although it felt empty without Jasper sitting beside me.

"As you all know, Bella has been with us for a while, and although we've had a few discussions surrounding Bella and what she has been through, it's important we have another discussion." Carlisle stopped talking as Jasper made his way down the stairs slowly, for a vampire, and took his rightful seat next to me.

"My apologies. You may continue." He said, distress clear in his voice, although he tried to hide it.

"Bella has made a fantastic recovery, and she is now no longer confined to a bed, or hooked up to machines. This means she can now roam around our house, and exist alongside our family. She will be joining us for dinner, and spending a lot of time with us. This means that there are a few issues to address."

"We're listening…"

"Firstly – the issue of where Bella will live. We've discussed this before, but now we've reached the point where we have to make a decision. Will Bella remain with us, and live with us, if she so chooses?"

**BPOV**

As I cried, I thought of everything I had lost in the past few days, months… years. Everything I had struggled to push away from me was now finding its way back into my life.

My mother – my beautiful and adoring mother. My creator, my confidant, my best friend. I missed her so much. And my father, Charlie. In his own special way, he and I were so alike. Charlie was responsible for the parts of me that were tucked away, saved for someone special. The parts of me that were private, that I wouldn't share with just anyone. The parts of my mind that I locked away, waiting for the right moment, and the right person to allow in.

But no matter how much I missed them, the pain of their loss didn't compare to the pain of losing myself, and everything that was mine. I had been robbed of everything that was good and pure about me.

I didn't want to know myself anymore, because knowing myself meant embracing all of the parts of me – every part of my past, no matter how painful. And I wasn't sure that I could accept everything about me.

Dirty. I felt dirty again. So as I sobbed harder and harder, I scrubbed, wanting nothing more then to wake up and find myself in another body – one not so tainted by her experiences.

**APOV**

"Well, let's start with you, Alice, shall we?" Carlisle smiled in my direction, tipping his head slightly.

"I want her to stay. She needs us. We can protect her. And she deserves to be protected." I said, holding Jasper closer to my body, trying as hard as I possibly could to project as much love onto him as possible, to give him some relief from the pain.

"I'd like her to stay, too. She's a special child." Esme stated, smiling at me.

"Jasper?"

"Yes. She should stay"

"And Edward?"

"It's dangerous for her to be here. We can't ensure perfect control all of the time. And with a human living just upstairs, sleeping, helpless and defenceless against a family of vampires… I'm not sure that's the safest option…"

"Edward, she has no one else!" I shrieked, growing frustrated. Before I could say anything else, I was distracted by a vision. I smiled to myself, the most unlikely answer was about to come from Rosalie.

"Alice is right, Edward. Her parents are gone, and she has no extended family. Richard will probably be after her, and nobody else can keep him from her but us. For now, I think this is the best option."

"For now…" Edward said in a severe tone. For now, that was a good enough answer, and it translated into a resounding 'yes!' for me. Suddenly, all eyes were on Rosalie, as we waited for her answer.

"Yes." She said softly, still looking down. "Nobody deserves to endure what she has, and now, she needs us to keep that from ever happening again." Rosalie said simply, her voice void of all emotion. I wasn't shocked at her response, mere seconds before I had known what she would say.

"It's decided, then. For now, Bella stays."

"What about our secret, Carlisle?" Jasper asked.

"For now, I believe we shouldn't tell Bella. There will likely be a time when she either discovers for herself, or when we need to tell her. But for now, let's just give her the safety and comfort she deserves, without frightening her too much."

**EPOV**

I resumed my position outside the doorway of the bathroom, waiting for Bella – listening to her heartbeat, and listening to her expression of her pain. Still, loud, heart-wrenching sobs were flowing through her, her tears competing with the water from the shower.

I so desperately wanted to run to her side, and take her into my arms, soothing her, helping her through the pain she was feeling. If I could have, I knew I would have taken that pain away from her; I would have harboured it for a lifetime if she could only feel relief from it for even a moment.

Bella would stay. I wasn't yet sure how I felt about it. There were two competing sides to my thoughts surrounding her stay. I knew that being in a house full of vampires was a far cry from safe, but I also knew that we couldn't abandon Bella now; we couldn't just leave her after everything she had been through. She was too fragile, too small, and too human.

I heard small feet patter up the stairs, and I recognized it to be Alice. In a second, she was at my side, her hand on my back – a sisterly gesture.

"Are you ready, Edward?"

"Ready for what?" I questioned in a low voice.

"You'll see." She said, before skipping away from me. I tried to locate her thoughts, but she was replaying the lyrics of a horrid Britney Spears song, so I immediately withdrew myself from her mind.

And that's when I heard the faintest whisper of my name fall from the lips of my angel: Bella.

**BPOV**

Before I could even utter his name again, I heard the shower door open, and I felt someone wrapping a towel around my body gently.

"Its okay, Bella. It's okay" Edward assured me, pulling me into him. I couldn't speak – I offered him no response. I couldn't stop the tears long enough to formulate anything that made sense. But he didn't seem to care. Slowly, he pulled my body into a sitting position on his lap, cuddling me to his chest, rocking back and forth slowly.

I would have thought such a close interaction with someone of the male gender would be troubling for me since what had happened, but when I was in Edward's arms, nothing was troubling. All that mattered was that I was safe, and for the first time in a long time, I felt loved. And that was more then I could have ever asked for.

I felt a cold hand trace the length of my arm, and I looked down to see Edward lightly tracing my red and raw arms, tenderly, with an understanding I wasn't sure I deserved.

We sat that way for a long time. And eventually the tears stopped coming. I wasn't even sure exactly how long it was before Edward broken the silence with the sound of his musical voice.

"Do you think you'll be up for dinner, Bella?" The sound of his voice sent shivers down my spine.

"Yeah. I think I'll be fine. Plus, I know Esme is really looking forward to this." I explained, slowly lifting myself off of Edward.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked, his body mere inches from my own.

What he didn't realize was that he had already done more then I could ever explain. And it was in that moment that I realized I was falling in love with Edward Cullen.

************************************************************************

"It smells delicious." I stated as Alice tucked a stray curl behind my ear. She had insisted upon dressing me for dinner. Although I wasn't exactly thrilled about the idea, I didn't have the energy to argue.

"Yeah, Esme loves cooking! Stop fidgeting, Bella. You're only going to make the process longer if you keep that up." Alice warned, brushing my cheeks with a light powder.

I surveyed Alice as she danced around me, quickly applying makeup and fixing my clothes. There was something about her that wasn't… normal. She had skin, so pale it looked as though it could be translucent. And she moved so gracefully, you would swear every movement she made was some kind of elegant dance step. And her eyes – the most striking gold colour that she shared with her entire family.

The Cullen's were all adopted, but how could it be that they all shared such odd features? Skin colour, texture and temperature, the same striking gold eyes and they all moved with the same elegance.

"Alice, can I ask you something." Suddenly, Alice stopped dead in her tracks, looking off into the distance with a blank stare. Her eyes snapped open, and she continued her work on me.

"Sure, Bella."

"What aren't you all telling me?" I questioned, my voice wavering despite my best efforts.

"I don't know what you mean…" Alice stated, but before I could clarify, Alice was speaking again.

"Oh Bella, look at your arms." Alice took my injured arms in her hands, and rand a cold hand over the cuts. I bowed my head in shame, not wishing to explain how I acquired my newest injury.

"Don't worry! You don't need to explain. And I have the perfect shirt you can wear to cover those right up – if you want, of course." I nodded.

"Thanks Alice"

"No worries. Oooh, dinner is just about ready. You ready to go?" I smiled as Alice took my hand, and led me downstairs.

My breath caught in my throat when I walked into the dining room to see the entire Cullen family sitting at the table, in casual conversation. It was my first time seeing all of them at once since I had arrived, and seeing them all together like this only further confirmed my suspicions.

They were the most beautiful people I had ever laid eyes on. Absolutely gorgeous.

As I took my seat at the table, I noticed Edward's eyes following me. I smiled at him, still embarrassed that he had witnessed me crumble like that. My heart picked up when I was around him, and my mind fluttered wildly.

Yup. Definitely falling in love with Edward. And right now, that emotion was the most confusing of all. How could I be falling in love when my world had just fallen apart?

"Esme, this all looks wonderful." She beamed at my words.

"Thank you, dear! I hope you _all _enjoy it."

"Not too much, though, Bella. We don't want to upset your stomach after being so long without solid food. Esme purposely chose a light dish, so you should be fine." Carlisle smiled as he grasped Esme's tiny hand in his own, and glanced at her affectionately.

"But before we eat, there is something I want to clear up." I began "Something I don't want to tiptoe around anymore. I've been here long enough to know that you're not a normal family. And I want the truth – and I want it now."

* * *

**A/N: I like this chapter. It took me a while to write it, and I went through it a couple of times for editing purposes. It's my longest chapter yet (I believe), and I'd really like to know what you lovely reviewers think of it!!!**

**I know it seems very sad and angsty right now, but I assure you, the mood will lighten and good things are to come!!!**

**Huge high-fives to these awesome reviewers:  
-jeanne  
-liv6999**

**IMPORTANT!!!!**

**Also, I will be posting a poll with the following question on my profile:  
Do you think Bella should discover the Cullens' secret next chapter, or should she find out later. **

**Leave a review or answer the poll question to cast your vote! Until I recieve 15 votes, I won't be posting the next chapter!**

**I know... that's mean, but I really need you input for this one.  
As always, read and review, and make me happy, so I update faster!!!**


	11. Especially Special

_**Disclaimer: SM owns it, I do not. For which I am grateful, otherwise, the Twilight universe would not exist! And that would be a real travesty!**_

**POV: **_Edward, Bella_

**Chapter 11: Especially Special**

"_...because truly to enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold,  
__for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast.  
__Nothing exists in itself."  
__-__Moby Dick,__ Herman Melville_

*********************

_My breath caught in my throat when I walked into the dining room to see the entire Cullen family sitting at the table, in casual conversation. It was my first time seeing all of them at once since I had arrived, and seeing them all together like this only further confirmed my suspicions._

_They were the most beautiful people I had ever laid eyes on. Absolutely gorgeous._

_As I took my seat at the table, I noticed Edward's eyes following me. I smiled at him, still embarrassed that he had witnessed me crumble like that. My heart picked up when I was around him, and my mind fluttered wildly._

_Yup. Definitely falling in love with Edward. And right now, that emotion was the most confusing of all. How could I be falling in love when my world had just fallen apart?_

"_Esme, this all looks wonderful." She beamed at my words._

"_Thank you, dear! I hope you __all __enjoy it."_

"_Not too much, though, Bella. We don't want to upset your stomach after being so long without solid food. Esme purposely chose a light dish, so you should be fine." Carlisle smiled as he grasped Esme's tiny hand in his own, and glanced at her affectionately._

"_But before we eat, there is something I want to clear up." I began "Something I don't want to tiptoe around anymore. I've been here long enough to know that you're not a normal family. And I want the truth – and I want it now."_

**EPOV**

What now? How did we answer that fateful question? We all knew she would eventually have questions – how could she not? Seeing us at school, or passing us on the street was one thing, but to actually live with us, or spend any amount of time with us, you would eventually grow wary of the differences. And it wasn't as though they were exactly subtle differences.

My eyes darted in the direction of Alice, wondering if this was something she had foreseen. She rolled her eyes, and gritted her teeth.

_No, you idiot! If I knew this was going to happen, don't you think I would have mentioned it? _She chided me mentally. I nodded slightly in her direction, a gesture of understanding.

I could hear the panic in my family's thoughts. Everyone was uncertain at this point, and nobody was willing to take the lead, and solve this problem. But someone had to, and I think we all assumed that someone would be our natural leader – Carlisle.

_See what you've done, Edward? Bringing your little human pet into our lives? You've put us all in danger! _Rosalie sneered, flipping her golden blonde hair behind her.

My lips pulled back over my teeth and a low growl escaped me, before I even had the mind to stop myself. Great. Another thing Bella would wonder about. Why is the supposed human Edward snarling like a wild animal?

I registered the shock in her expression at my actions, her eyes wide and gaping at me incredulously. But she said nothing, her expression remained tense, and her hands were rigid as they gripped the side of the chair. I could hear her heart beat pick up a pace, as her upper lip quivered.

At first, I didn't understand her reaction. I assumed she would have immediately pointed out my odd behaviour and used it as further proof that there was something strange about my family. But she didn't. She barely even breathed. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at Bella with concern.

_She's terrified. _Jasper began explaining _But not of us. She's remembering something, it seems – her emotions are distant and irrelevant, but prevalent. I believe this would be what is classified as a trigger? _He silently explained to me. Immediately, I felt him send wave after wave of calm through the room, and I felt myself relax in response.

Of course. Her reaction made perfect sense. Another symptom of trauma: being triggered by something that reminded you of the traumatic event. And my snarl must have resembled something Richard would have done. I shuddered at the thought. I didn't ever want my actions to resemble anything close to what that monster was capable of. The very thought filled me with a rage I had to consciously subdue.

_Now is not the time or place, _I reminded myself.

"Bella, are you alright?" It was Carlisle who spoke first, his voice calm and filled with genuine concern. It wasn't difficult to notice the immediate change in Bella's demeanour. But as soon as she heard Carlisle's voice, her head snapped up, and she blinked fervently, anxiously examining the faces that stared at her.

"I'm – I'm fine. Please don't change the subject. I don't want to be rude, or intrude, but I also don't want something important kept from me, especially since I've trusted you all with so much. Whatever it is, I think I _can_ handle it." She said the last part with such certainty, that she almost had me convinced. Almost.

I still firmly believed that if Bella knew what we were, she would immediately figure out that Richard was also a vampire, given all the similarities we shared, all of the things she had already noticed in her time with us. I believed Bella would crumble, and would feel more vulnerable then she ever had, knowing that the monster that had nearly destroyed her was also contained somewhere in myself and each of my family members, too.

No matter how ardently I tried to quell the monster that lingered within me, shrouded by the tiny existence of humanity I had, it still existed – it still craved to feast upon the blood of a human, I still desired the sweet freesia smell of Bella's blood, still yearned for it. Naturally, I was still the ultimate predator, both to animals and to humans. I was still a danger to Bella, just as Richard had been, and still was.

And I feared that once she knew the truth, this was a reality she would not be able to so easily disregard. Would she want to be anywhere near me again? I had my doubts. And I figured that whatever sense of self-preservation she possessed would finally begin working then, and would send her running in the opposite direction of us permanently.

It pained me to think that she would fear us, but the more discernable pain I feared was _losing_ her – in any sense of the word. I didn't think I could handle not being at her side to protect her, to keep her from whatever monster was after her. I needed to know that her heart was still beating, to know that I would see those captivating russet eyes again, still full of life, still full of wonder.

_We have to tell her Edward. And we have to tell her the truth. This isn't something we can hide from her if she is to spend any amount of time here. It would complicate things far too much to have to constantly maintain a lie. She is especially observant, too, and she deserves to know the truth. _

I shook my head at Carlisle's thoughts as I processed them. No. No! We couldn't tell her. The risk was too high, the pain it would cause her would be endless, and the pain it would cause me would be endless too. I didn't want to have Bella thinking of me as the monster I truly was. I wanted to remain unscathed in her mind as her saviour – not as kindred with the beast that had so savagely hurt her.

_Oh no… _I heard the chiming of Alice's mental voice, and then I reacted to Carlisle's suggestion.

"No." I said through clenched teeth as I threw myself into a standing position, glaring angrily at my family.

Before I turned from the table and walked away, I noticed the confused, and somewhat hurt expression that crossed Bella's features. She didn't understand where my sudden outburst had come from; after all, she wasn't aware that I was capable of having somewhat one-sided conversations in my head.

To me, it felt like an hour had passed since Bella first asked her question, but in actuality, it had been only mere minutes that had passed. It appeared that time was now crawling at an infinitesimal pace.

**BPOV**

I watched as Edward walked angrily away from the table, at a speed slightly too fast for an average human-being. I couldn't understand his reaction – why the hell was he so angry? Did I say something to annoy him? Did he so badly want to protect this secret they were hiding? I figured the Cullen's would know they could trust me, considering I had placed all my trust in them, lived with them for weeks now without ever questioning their intentions.

I looked into the faces of Edward's family, and watched as they all gauged my reaction, glancing quickly from me to each other. I bit my lip nervously, trying to decide what to do next.

I stood from the table, and ran in the direction Edward had been walking, ignoring the Cullen's reaction. As I made my way outside, I saw Edward walking toward the garage – his speed had now doubled, and he whizzed pass me faster then anyone should ever be capable of.

"Edward!" I shrieked, hoping my voice would be enough to stop him. It worked. He stopped dead in his tracks and with wide-eyes looked in my direction.

"Bella…"

"Edward – you owe me an explanation. I deserve to know who – what you are. You can't deny the similarities you share with… _him" _I stumbled awkwardly over that last word, trying to hide my unease "I just want some answers. You can trust me… can't you tell that much by now? Can't you feel and share the same trust I share with you?" I questioned desperately.

Before I could say anything else, Edward was at my side, taking my hand in his, pulling me away from his house and toward the thickening of trees where the Cullen property ended, and the forest began.

He began weaving me through the vegetation, past the shrubbery and over the moss covered logs, toward a destination that remained unknown to me. I had forgotten how green everything was in Forks. How pristine and truly beautiful the natural and deep colours of the damp and wet place were.

Edward said nothing as I trailed behind him, my hand still clasped in his as he pulled me through the maze that was the forest. I wondered where we were going, and I was as confused as I had ever been. I was especially confused at my reaction to his touch. It was always this way when he touched me – even the most platonic touch sent waves of electricity through me, sending my heart beating wildly, my focus disoriented. Captivated. Dazzled. He barely had to look at me and that was the effect. It made me feel a bit pathetic. But I didn't spend much time criticizing myself, my curiosity took over.

Where was he taking me? Why were we going so far away? I couldn't understand what his intentions were. But even in my uncertainty, fear was the last thing I felt when he was near me. I was curious, sure, but I was never afraid.

Finally, after minutes of weaving in and out of trees, and stumbling as Edward caught me each time, I broke the silence between us.

"Where are you taking me?"

"You want to know what is different about us." He stated, his voice harsher then I was accustomed to. It wasn't a question, but I felt the need to respond as though it was.

"Yes. I do."

"Well, I'm going to _show_ you."

Finally we stopped in a clearing, a spot where the trees curved around the natural bend of the forestry, dipping slightly to make an awkward oval shape. The distinction between the clearing and the forest was firstly the contrasting colour of the dirt floor of the forest, and the green and grassy floor of the meadow laid out before me. Secondly and more obviously was the distinctive perimeter the trees created, and lastly, the wild flowers that grew up from the green of the meadow floor created beautifully coloured patterns, and a smell that was irresistible.

"It's beautiful" was all I could manage as I stared at this gorgeous piece of scenery before me, suddenly appreciative of the constant rain in Forks.

"It doesn't compare…" he didn't finish his sentence, although judging by the way he was staring intently at me, I figured he was going to say that it didn't compare to _me_. Although, that could have just been my ego running wild…

Edward began circling around me, his eyes fixed on me as he did.

"Any theories, Bella?" He questioned, his eyes narrowing. I mulled over his question in my head. Did I have any theories? Not really. I knew they were different – a lot different, I just didn't know what it was that made them that way.

"I don't know…" his brow furrowed at my response.

"Well, this is going to be more of a shock then I believed…"

"Really? Do you think so? Given all that I've been through, you really think this is going to rock my world that much? I doubt it." His eyes widened and he stilled, stepping forward, so close that barely a foot of space separated our bodies from touching.

I looked up into his eyes and waited for him to continue. He didn't speak. He gently reached down to my side and grabbed my hand, placing it on his upper arm, his cold hand covering my own.

"I'm cold…"

"Impossibly cold." I agreed, trying to firm my voice so it didn't waver.

He moved my hand so that it was touching just above his left pectoral.

"What do you feel?" He questioned, his eyes transfixed on my own. I allowed my hand to rest against him for a long while, wondering what I should be feeling before I realized it wasn't about what I should be feeling. It was about what I _wasn't_ feeling.

"Nothing…" I breathed, still confused.

"Which means?"

"You don't have a heartbeat… but how is that –" before I could finish, he placed a single finger over my lip, silencing me.

"What else have you noticed?" He questioned, stepping away from me and circling me slowly, purposefully. I thought back to my earlier considerations, and recalled the oddities I had noted.

"Your eyes - you all have the same eyes, the same golden eyes. Only… sometimes they change, they darken, and when your eyes darken, your mood does, too."

"Observant" he said approvingly, although he smiled wryly.

"Anything else?"

"Yes. You're all beautiful beyond explanation. Captivatingly beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful. With magical sing-song voices that make me believe I could listen to you speak all day. And you- you have these weird silent conversations. You nod in the direction of people, as though they've just asked you something, even though they didn't speak. And Alice, she seems to zone out a lot, and she knows things. You all look to her for guidance, but not in the same way you'd look to Carlisle…" Edward merely stared at me, his body rigid and stone-like as he watched at me with a burning intensity.

"You've noticed a lot more then we've given you credit for."

"I'm not stupid. It doesn't take a genius to notice things like that."

"Most people don't discern those things. Most people merely notice that we're different, in trivial ways. We don't socialize with others, we're all attractive, etcetera, etcetera. They don't notice the fundamental differences in the way you do. You're unique, Bella."

"So are you." I said casually, trying to keep the excitement and urgency out of my voice.

"Is that all?" He questioned. I was growing tired of this trivia game, mainly because I was so anxious to know what I was guessing at. But I knew Edward well enough to know that he was temperamental, and things would go smoothest if I just gave in and did it his way.

"No. You move quickly. Too quickly. It's not natural. You're in one place and then- and then you're in another… before I can even blink sometimes. Then you tell me it's the pain medication messing with my brain, like I'm an idiot." His eyes softened at my words, and he smiled at me, treading closer, only inches away from me now. His finger was on my chin as he lifted my head so my eyes were gazing into his.

"Never did I consider you an idiot, Bella Swan." I swooned as his icy-sweet breath washed over my cheeks, making my eyes water and filling my nostrils with the sweet aroma. Instinctively, I moved my head closer into his, wanting to _taste_ him – to taste the icy-sweetness of his breath. His hands were on my shoulders, steadying me.

What had gotten into me? Did I really just move in to _kiss_ him? It was such an instinctual reaction, so natural and thoughtless that it startled me.

"Are you alright?" I shook my head and pulled away from him slightly, so as not to appear too close. I nodded and smiled.

"I'm fine."

"Bella, I must warn you, what we are – it's not something heroic, brave, or even very exciting. It's dark, dangerous and it may be hard to believe. You might fear us after you find out, and we would understand, everyone, and everything fears us. It's the most usual and visceral response." His eyes clouded over in what looked to be a pained expression. Automatically, my hand rested on his cheek, and I felt him shiver slightly. Where was my courage coming from? Why did I feel so connected and drawn to him? My heart thumped wildly, and that same current of electricity bolted through my entire body – head to toe.

"I'm not afraid of you, Edward. In fact, I feel exactly the opposite of fear when I'm around you. I feel…" I paused, searching for the right word "safe." Edward laughed a strained laugh.

"You should fear me, Bella."

"But I don't." I persisted, staring into his eyes, trying to understand why he looked so tortured by our discussion.

"Have you studied mythology?" He questioned.

"Yes."

"Anything about creatures fitting the description my family does?"

"Ice cold, no heartbeat, changing eyes, strange mind-reading capabilities?" I replied. His eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"When did you figure out I could read minds?" He questioned. I squeaked in horror, covering my mouth with my hand, stepping away from him.

"What?" He asked urgently, appearing at my side as if out of thin air.

"That – that was just a guess! You… you can read minds? You can read my mind…" Edward chuckled, throwing his head back as he laughed freely. I swatted his arm, and pulled away my throbbing hand. He was like stone, hard as granite.

"Ugh. You're like stone. And that really hurt. And it's not funny. You can… you can read my thoughts!" I was horrified. It felt like an invasion of my privacy – not even my thoughts were my own.

"No, Bella. I can't read _your_ thoughts. I can read every mind I come across – every mind but yours, that is."

Great. So there really was something wrong with my brain. I was defective. I always knew I was messed up, I guess this was just further proof.

"So, there must be something wrong with me, because you can't read my mind?" Edward scoffed and smirked, his eyes glittering at my question.

"I tell you I can read minds, and I show you how strange I am – how strange my whole family is – and you think there's something wrong with you?" He chuckled lightly, gently placing his hand on my forearm. I shivered at his cold touch, but didn't pull away. His touch wasn't uncomfortable, it was rather the opposite. It was comforting. The closer we were, the more contact we had and the more assured I felt that he wasn't suddenly going to vanish.

"Any guesses?" I shook my head. I truly had nothing.

"Would you like a hint?" He asked, the laughter in his voice was now gone, and his words were harsher, more serious.

"Yes…"

"We can't go into the sunlight…" And that's when I knew. That's when all of the pieces of the puzzle suddenly fit together, making perfect sense to me now. No, they didn't fit the canon description of this mythological creature, but they were close enough. Only slight variations…

The look on my face must have given me away, because Edward broke contact from me, and slowly began stepping away. One moment he was at my left side, and the next, he was across the meadow, peering down on me from the highest branch of a tree. Before I could blink, he was dangling from another branch, and again, he was at my side, although he maintained a distance.

"I… I didn't know you could move _that _quickly…" I knew it was a lame response to something so… spectacular, but I really couldn't formulate a reply beyond that. He seemed to appreciate my words nonetheless. His eyebrows rose, and a small smile played on his lips.

"That's nothing. We can move faster then that. Much faster" he assured me, his tone suddenly jubilant again. I nodded, not wanting to say anything to upset him, or stop him from sharing this incredible secret with me.

Again, I couldn't find the words to respond. Exactly what was an appropriate response to finding something like this out? Again, in the blink of an eye, Edward was behind me, his body mere inches from my own, and his lips only centimetres from my ear. I sighed as his cool breath washed over my face, inhaling deeply so as to appreciate his delectable scent fully.

"Do you know what we are now, Bella?" he whispered, so low I had to strain to hear him, though he was so close to me. I didn't move. My body must have resembled a statue, because I stayed as still as was possible, not wanting to disturb our proximity. I swallowed hard before nodding ever so slightly.

"Then say it. Say it, out loud" he whispered again. I hesitated, but something about his presence, his scent and his closeness to me urged me to continue, to answer him and appease him.

"Vampires." At my words, I immediately noticed his absence when his body moved so quickly he was a blur. Standing in front of me, his eyebrows knit. I watched as his lips fell into a distinct frown, and his golden eyes swirled with a burning flame that conveyed his torture. My realization had caused him pain. It had caused him to experience an uncertainty about me, about us. I could see it. I could see the way he hesitated, the way his hands clenched into claws, as his jaw flexed periodically.

"I'm not afraid, Edward. I'm not afraid of any of you." If possible, his expression only became more severe at my words. I also noticed a hint of disbelief in the way his eyebrow cocked, and his eyes narrowed.

"You should be."

*********************

It had been such a long day, full of explanations, explorations and realizations. I had learned so much in just a few minutes, had been so crammed with information that I just accepted it for what it was, not questioning it, or reacting to it as I normally would have.

I just nodded along, accepting his words at face value, not trying to process them beyond that. They were just words when he spoke them. And although, yes, my responses were genuine, and I truly wasn't afraid, I also wasn't completely indifferent, as I had led him – all of them – to believe.

It evoked an emotional response in me. How could it not? They were of the same make as the man that had tried to destroy me. They were made of the same fibre, and woven from the same genetic makeup. They were so alike, yet so different. But that didn't change that they too, were capable of the same evil Richard was.

But then again, you didn't have to be a mythical creature to be capable of doing what Richard had done. You just had to be soulless. And I already knew from the time that I spent with Edward that he was not soulless, nor was his family, save maybe for Rosalie. They felt emotions the same way I did, they hurt like I did, laughed like I did, loved like I did.

Sure, they didn't have tears to cry when they felt pain – but it didn't mean they_ didn't_ feel pain. I could see the torment in Edward's eyes, how could I deny his pain looking into his tortured eyes, peeking at his anguished soul? I wondered what the source of his pain was. I wondered why he was so troubled. I wondered what caused him to question who he was, and hate his very existence.

"_We're monsters, Bella. You should always fear monsters" _I remembered him saying. Only hours before he had been trying to convince me that he was an evil being, created to destroy.

Hadn't he ever heard of people defying the odds? Triumphing over a destiny that was sure to be fulfilled? I couldn't believe that the Cullen's were evil.

But more then that, I couldn't believe Edward was evil.

I had experienced the wrath of true evil, evil in its purest form, and Edward was not true evil. He couldn't be. He just couldn't be.

Dr. Cullen had been exceptionally helpful in answering any of the questions I might have had. I went about things in a very robotic manner, not responding emotionally to anything – not processing the feelings that arose from hearing of the Cullen's secret. Part of me feared my reaction.

I feared fearing them. So I tucked it all away, waiting for a moment when I would be on my own, and safe to respond. Safe to open the drawer I had neatly closed, ready and wiling to tackle this.

I had become really good at tucking things away. But I was also becoming better at pulling them out again to process, when I was ready of course.

And that led me here, splayed across the vast bed, my frail body barely taking up a third of the oversized bed. I had to think. And this seemed like the safest place to do it.

And it was funny, because not much felt safe anymore. It didn't feel safe to feel, to cry, to remember, to forget… nothing was okay anymore. I didn't feel safe being outdoors by myself, I didn't feel safe sleeping alone in a room at night. I didn't feel safe being far from… from Edward.

Safety and Edward went hand in hand. Edward was now what defined all things safe for me. This was why Edward was lying on the opposite end of the bed, his arms folded across his chest as he lay perfectly still. I wanted time alone, but time alone sent me into a tailspin, and forced me to remember, to recall the most painful moments of my life. Being alone meant crumbling, and I wasn't strong enough to crumble, yet.

I thought for a long while as we lay in completely silence. Was I okay with what they were? Yes. Was I afraid of what they were? Yes and no. I was afraid of the power a vampire had when in the wrong hands. Strength and special talents such as theirs could be detrimental to the human race if possessed by wrong people. Like Richard. But was I afraid of the Cullen family? Absolutely not. At this moment, there was nothing I was surer of. The Cullen's were good people, some of the best I had come across, in fact.

I took a deep breath, preparing to disturb our silence "I'm okay…" I started nervously "with what you are, I mean." I whispered, staring at the white wall in front of me.

"I don't know if that's a good, or a bad thing, Bella."

"What do you mean?" I wondered aloud, tired of the evasiveness.

"Never mind…"

"No, Edward. Tell me." I persisted, this time not caring if I pushed the subject, or made him uncomfortable. If I could open up, so could he. I felt the bed shift slightly – so slightly I might have mistaken it for a breeze, could I not feel Edward's gaze boring into me – watching me with fascination.

"I want you to be safe. And I know I can- _will_ – protect you from any harm that may come your way. But I also know that I could be the inception of that pain, as well. As much as I would never intend to hurt you, it's in my nature."

"You could never hurt me, Edward. I know you couldn't." My voice was small, but it didn't waiver.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Only if I can ask one in return." I quipped, still not making eye contact with him. He hesitated, but eventually agreed.

"What makes you so sure of me? What makes you so certain I won't hurt you?" My heart thudded wildly at his question. I knew the answer, but I couldn't share that with him… could I?

"I – I don't know… I guess it's just a feeling I have. I can't really describe it. I just know that you'll be there. I know you're sincere, and I think…" I stopped, not wanting to continue and have my assumption be completely wrong.

"Continue, please Bella?"

"I think I mean something to you. I think I'm… important?" It wasn't really a question, but I figured if I framed it as such, any rejection I might face from him would be less humiliating. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a crooked smile begin to paint across beautiful face. My heart fluttered, and my face flushed 10 different shades before I could calm myself down enough to hear his response.

"You're right. You are special. To my whole family, in fact. But especially to me." The certainty in his voice – in his words made my want to melt into him. Special. I was special to him. Especially to him. There was quiet between us for a few moments, but surprisingly, it wasn't an uncomfortable or awkward.

"My turn, I guess." He nodded. "Why am I special?"

Silence. For several long minutes nobody spoke. The stillness of the room and of the entire Cullen house was eerie. I knew that Esme, Alice and Jasper were out hunting (they explained their vegetarian diets to me, which I found extremely fascinating), and that only left Emmett, Rosalie and Carlisle home, but that still didn't explain why the house was so still. I could hear the soft chirping of birds, and the light patter of rain against the leaves of the trees just outside the window.

And quite suddenly, Edwards' body was much, much closer to mine, only inches away. And I was sitting in an upright position, my stature mirroring his. He softly placed his cold hand to my cheek, and leaned in closer to me. My breath caught in my throat and my heart began racing, I felt as though it was going to pound out of my chest, and explode into thousands of pieces.

Suddenly, I felt something cold and soft pressing against my cheek. His lips. _His lips! _His lips were carefully pressed to my cheek, slowly moving down, toward the junction where my neck and jaw connected. I marvelled as his succulent breath glided over my face with each chaste kiss. I leaned my face into his hand, signifying my approval.

Edward Cullen was _kissing_ me.

*******

**A/N: Nope, she certainly hasn't forgotten about the turmoil she endured, and we'll see more of her instinctive reaction to her time with Edward in the next chapter. For now, I needed to develop some sort of relationship between the two, and I needed to begin building her trust in Edward, and her understanding of who Edward is. **

**I'll keep this A/N short and sweet because I've kept you all waiting SO long for this update. My apologies, I've been out of town for quite a while, and I only recently had access to my computer again. **

**Enjoy, and as always – review! **

**Thanks to everyone who responded to my poll question – the outcome of this chapter was based on what everyone wanted most, and most people wanted Bella to find out this chapter, and wanted Edward to be the one to tell her. Your wish, my command! **

**Thanks especially to:**

Jeda** – **_**love your reviews, they just make me grin from ear to ear!**_

Jeanne** – **_**your guess as to why the Cullen's didn't know about another coven so close is pretty close! Keep reading and you'll have an answer to your question very, very soon.**_

Ravencircle**- **_**I hope you're not too disappointed that Bella discovered the Cullen's secret! I'm really glad to hear your thoughts about last chapter. I wasn't sure if the different perspectives would have made it too confusing. Glad to hear you're enjoying the story!**_

2nd_mouse_gets_the_cheese**- **_**thanks for your review! **__****_

Night_orchid- _**thanks so much for your review and you readership! **_

liv6999- _**thanks for your thoughts on this chapter! I love your reviews, they leave me so happy. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, more E&B time, and more relationship development. Bella is really going to start dealing with her pain soon, so hopefully you won't be wondering for much longer!**_

**Thanks: experiment422, tennis8, anon, YankeeDiva, gjmb2000, eb2000**

**Okay… so maybe this A/N wasn't REALLY that short… but hopefully it was sweet. You're all amazing – thank you so much for sticking this through with me, and leaving your lovely reviews!**


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